Really Struggling Socially

When I was your age I found student sociaties that aligned with my interests were a good place to make friends. Many of them allow non students to join. I don’t know if that would be an option for you?

Hi Peter. Thank you very much for getting in touch. It's an interesting idea, but is unfortunately one that I've already looked into (as I'd only really be able to socialise around my particular interests at university) and not had much luck with. The universities local to me won't let people who aren't students at those universities into their societies.

I mean that sucks but it does also make it more likely something aimed at non students might exist local to you. How’s your Google fu? Have you tried searching to see if there’s something near by?

There are more adrenalin junky nerds than you might expect although most of them tend to prefer activities that don’t involve teamwork or lots of sweating. Think laser tag, go carting and LARP. Martial arts actually attracts some. Like maybe 2 to 5% of my martial arts class was nerdy. But sports clubs / martial arts etc are very bad generally for socialising unless they have an organised weekly social event attached which most don't. If you have only an informal social it’s more likely to only attract the social butterfly crowed and be a bit clieacy. 

id say look at nerdy groups and look for the adrenaline junkies in that circle.

Hey Peter. It's something that I've been looking into for years, but I just seem to keep running into the same problems and difficulties.

It's a bit of a long story, so I'll try and keep it brief. I seem to have a bit of a split personality. I'm fascinated by subjects such as: Physics, Artificial Intelligence, Maths, Astronomy, Space Technology, etc. I recently graduated from a distance learning University with a first class honours in BSc Maths. On the other hand, I really enjoy that "MTV's Jackass" style of stupidity in my down time, and am a real adrenaline junkie. Some people seems to fit into one of these categories or the other, most people don't fit into either, and almost no-one fits them both.

The closest thing I found to finding my sort of people was when I used to be in the Air Cadets, and am now trying to join the Army Reserve (although, socially, it's far harder). In the past, I've tried: gymnastics, church, volunteering, outdoor adventure societies, rock climbing, Judo, Kickboxing, Krav Maga, but keep really struggling to click with most people.

I'm trying to take up football as a new hobby, and am looking to do an MSc in the future, but I don't want to just keep making the same mistakes, and continually feel like I'm flogging a dead horse.

I'd love to know what you think .

Hey Peter. It's something that I've been looking into for years, but I just seem to keep running into the same problems and difficulties.

It's a bit of a long story, so I'll try and keep it brief. I seem to have a bit of a split personality. I'm fascinated by subjects such as: Physics, Artificial Intelligence, Maths, Astronomy, Space Technology, etc. I recently graduated from a distance learning University with a first class honours in BSc Maths. On the other hand, I really enjoy that "MTV's Jackass" style of stupidity in my down time, and am a real adrenaline junkie. Some people seems to fit into one of these categories or the other, most people don't fit into either, and almost no-one fits them both.

The closest thing I found to finding my sort of people was when I used to be in the Air Cadets, and am now trying to join the Army Reserve (although, socially, it's far harder). In the past, I've tried: gymnastics, church, volunteering, outdoor adventure societies, rock climbing, Judo, Kickboxing, Krav Maga, but keep really struggling to click with most people.

I'm trying to take up football as a new hobby, and am looking to do an MSc in the future, but I don't want to just keep making the same mistakes, and continually feel like I'm flogging a dead horse.

I'd love to know what you think .

There are more adrenalin junky nerds than you might expect although most of them tend to prefer activities that don’t involve teamwork or lots of sweating. Think laser tag, go carting and LARP. Martial arts actually attracts some. Like maybe 2 to 5% of my martial arts class was nerdy. But sports clubs / martial arts etc are very bad generally for socialising unless they have an organised weekly social event attached which most don't. If you have only an informal social it’s more likely to only attract the social butterfly crowed and be a bit clieacy. 

id say look at nerdy groups and look for the adrenaline junkies in that circle.