Aspergers syndrom is a curse

Aspergers is a curse. These are the unfortunate people who find they are different from the usual person found everywhere. Aspergers people cannot fit in with normal society. For that reason, they are excluded from being with friends and peers from an early age. They are unable to develop socially like their peers, so get left further behind. The inability to fit in and the differentness is made worse by the time they become adults. Many parents are simply embarassed having that child who is 'different', cannot do sports as others, comes across as weird. Besides with their mannerisms, their approaches to things, the way they speak in their monotone voice just annoys everyone else. With other handicaps - a person in a wheelchair can be accepted. A person with mental impairments lives with similar others in their colonies. An aspie cannot be recognized in the same way. Appears as normal till things start becoming apparrent.  He or she is not ill enough to qualify for disability allowances nor PIP. Morever the people who determine these, will never recognize an aspie and their needs purely because they are not in it. We talk about some high value people or stars being aspies, but statistically the typical aspie is most likely to be unemployed, living on their own and few friends. They maybe tried having a partner, but that failed. The partner soon realizes what they are yoked with and dump them.  Coming to job  interviews, their differentness is soon apparrent, they are deemed not to fit in the company, so do not get the job. Psychometric tests also detect aspies because the tests have questions which fish out the traits that aspies have like being loyal, preferring to work on their own, being organized, truth speaking.The tests fish out the things that an aspie cannot do and conclude that the person is not fit for the job based on abilities like being able to work under pressure or multi-task.

  • So is being a social animal.

    My local chippy employs very friendly social chatty girls who are always chatting with each other.

    Shame some of them don't concentrate on the job.  Especially the newcomers.

    The fish is very good and cooked on demand.

    Once, I was only given chips when I clearly ordered fish & chips, fortunately I noticed as it was being wrapped,.

    Last week, there were only me and another customer in the shop.  He was given my order, again he noticed immediately and gave it back to the gossipping girls.

  • The environment isn't designed for innovation;

    Most are not designed for productivity either, too much of an emphasis on the 'social' aspect, in my last job I could not believe how much work time was spent on 'socialising' rather than actually doing the work.

    Seeing colleagues say they were going to speak to another colleague about a client and it turning into a 1.5 hour gossip fest (with about 10 minutes actually spent on the client issue) then the last 5 minutes of that reiterating what they'd discussed about the client at the beginning to make it look like they'd been discussing the client that whole time! 

    What a complete waste of work time, if you were to count this up over the week it easily reached an eight hour work day lost, this is why the 4 day working week needs to be pushed, you hear comments about how it makes people more productive in other countries, my theory on that is they'll think 'right, I better do what it is I'm getting paid for as I've only got 4 days' and save their socialising for later, you see it when someone's Annual Leave is coming up, total focus on the job for about 3 days prior!

  • It's not a Curse, but it does make life far more difficult than it needs to be sometimes. The fact is that people, even now, just do not understand, nine times out of ten, what Aspergers Syndrome is and how it can affect people trying to interact and work with people who do not have to deal with the same things. But there are those who do and will help-such as the organisation this website belongs to.

    There are good people who will enjoy your company, your views and ideas and even the fact you are in many ways different to them and theirs. Look for them, you can find them. Enjoy it when you do-it's worth it.

  • It is absolutely not a curse. The real curse is the rest of the world not being accommodating. It isn't anyones job to fit in, it's the world's job to be accessible to everyone.

  • You identify a lot of problems but it is better to light a candle than curse the dark. 

    my point being what do you propose be done about it?

  • If your going to get all dramatic and call it a 'curse', I think I'd have to say that it's incorrect. Lack of awareness would be the 'curse'. I could have made huge changes  that would have made things better for myself if I'd known sooner. If the wider community had more awareness,  people with mental health issues, not just those on the spectrum, would have an improved quality of life. It's true that statistics paint a bleak picture for us. But it doesn't mean that our lives are any worse than others. Everyone has challenges. Hell,  I have a cousin who used to get picked on because of his red hair. I'd love someone to explain that one to me! 

    We could spend our lives complaining about something that just is, or we can learn to look passed it. Yes, it isn't always easy. But  that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.

  • I don’t see it as a curse but a huge mismatch of bad awareness to the public. We have spiked skill sets and NT world needs to change its systems to appreciate our talents and uniqueness. It’s up to us to find our talents and pursue them regardless as they make us happy.

  • I've been struggling for years and recently got a diagnosis. I'm not sure that close friends truly buy into the diagnosis or understand it and I don't want to over-explain it to them.

    I've had a rough time over the last week - I think mostly due to this "condition".

    I was breaking earlier today and ended up confiding in a friend. I explained how most (close to all) interactions are difficult for me, that I'm struggling with new work colleagues at the moment and that I keep how hard I find things to myself.

    He told me that he doesn't connect with many people, but did with me. That he appreciates our friendship, that he misses me and that his wife said that the problem is that I am super intelligent and too smart for most of the situations that I find myself in.

    I'm having some of the issues you've said, but wanted to share something positive. In my current difficult times and when I started to find it hard to even talk to people, someone identified my qualities and this "condition" felt like it might be a positive part of me.

  • I agree it can be a struggle but I don't think it's a curse. People with or without aspergers have difficulties in their lives. It's possible to improve in all the areas you mentioned in my opinion. I also think there is so much support nowadays for disabilities and mental health struggles.

  • Work is the one killer for us. The environment isn't designed for innovation; rather conformity.

    Also, because we made an effort in school, we were pushed from pillar to post by Teachers, Lecturers and other Students who are cute as foxes.

  • I can relate to what you have written. It's sad, but it's true in many ways.