Verbal bullying

My fiance daughter was on video to her aunt Sarah she told her she was round next doors at chloes Sarah went and said what the weird one on speaker phone then my friend chloe herd her other half come bursting round to mine saying his partner is upset coz being offended then I ended up losing it in a meltdown where my anger came out x

U have understood that perfectly x

So your fiancé’s sister (Sarah?) called your friend (Chloe) weird. Her partner Tom has told you Sarah said that and upset them and you’re also upset because if she thinks that about Chloe then she may think that about you too? And also you’re upset that she upset your friend? Have I understood that right? It’s quite hard to follow when you’ve gone from referring to people by relationship to then referring to them by name. I agree with Untoward about “owning” the label, if I wasn’t “weird” I wouldn’t be me but I understand that can be difficult for those who may have a lower self esteem than I do. Has your fiancé spoken to his sister about her comments? Did she say them to her face? Who told her if she said it behind your friend’s back?

That story is a bit hard to follow but from what I gather someone called someone weird and it upset them which made you angry?

I totally understand how if you have been bullied and called weird then hearing your friend was called weird by someone you trusted would be upsetting. Maybe you could tell them that, because I am sure their intent was not to upset.

Some people at school and at places I've worked have been very mean and it seemed to me that their goal is to upset people. I find that hard to deal with regardless of what the words were - but it's more the social exclusion and feeling like an outsider which hurts (when the joke is on you), especially when it's more than one person ganging up on you.

At other times, I think that people are not trying to be mean, but it's easy to misinterpret things when you are autistic and not know the difference between playful banter, off hand remarks, or bullying. I am always trying to work out "why" someone said something.

It gets especially bad if I'm suffering from burnout. Eventually the algorithms running in my head to try to analyse human behaviour just stop working and I assume everyone is out to get me, and at times like that it's just best not to be around people at all.

It can be stressful and exhausting when you don't understand people and you are forever trying to guess their intent.

You could try to own the label of "weird", because there is nothing wrong with being weird. It is an epithet that I accept because I am weird and I won't apologise for it, and I do not take it as an insult!

Chloe, Tom, your sister, her fiancé... Sarah? My lovely, this paragraph is a bit hard to follow. BUT. It is always best to mute everyone else and spend some time with your friend who you connect with sorting this out.

Most people call each other names, unfortunately. What's creepy is when they do this AND they're in a public office or a position of power. It's an immature and irresponsible way of dealing with ones short existance on earth and so much easier to judge someone without really getting to know them.

But I don't really want to be known or be friends with someone who's immature and quick to judge. These humans limit their possibiliteis in life, ruin relationsihips and mess things up for everyone else. I steer clear of them.

Perhaps you and your friend can make a pact - read books together, have secret codes, learn new skills and create a bond that is unbreakable. Find ways to have each other's back and leave the NeuroTypical world to ROT! or just leave them to their power struggles and frightening temporory existance.