Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
Advance apologies, I just need to rant.
Just spoken with a therapist, we have had quite a few sessions and she is aware of current physical health concerns and the wait for a specialist consultation appointment. Which is in 3 weeks. She just told me that what I've been experiencing for the last 6 weeks might just go away by itself and that there might not be anything wrong. Or at least a simple and easy fix. I can understand saying that to someone who is scared about a serious diagnosis. However, I've told her so many times that I'm scared that everything is fine. Even though tests show otherwise. I'm still worried that I've messed myself, family and work around for no reason. And that if that is the case then I will have huge difficulties coping with the guilt.
Is she trying to send me back into depression. I have 3 weeks to wait for answers and I feel really unwell, the paranoia I have may sound silly, but to me it's a genuine fear that there is all this fuss for nothing.
What is the point in talking when then don't even listen!
Sorry, rant over.
Rant away. It sounds like your therapist is so used to giving certain answers that sound useful they have forgotten that each person is unique and each scenario needs to be dealt with in a different way. I'm terrified of messing people about. When I went through my PTSD treatment, I spent much of it wishing I'd been more physically hurt in my accident because it was at least tangible. The mindfuck made me feel like I was taking the piss and looking for sympathy points. At least when it is tangible, there is a physical answer, one that can be seen and understood.
It's nice when someone understands from experience, but then not, as you've had to go through a really difficult experience. The mind can really play some dirty tricks on us. If I was to treat people how my mind treats me then I'm sure I would make a great politician.