Adult diagnosis - experiences informing work

i told my employer and suddenly their was a huge fuss and i sorta had to tell them that the fuss was stressing me out. So many meetings OMG. 

I asked for a pair of headphones and permission to wear them all the time. Yes i had to ask for permission because the employer is responsible if u get ear infections etc.

Every employer is different.

1 year later no one mentions my autism which suits me fine.  I got a really good performance review this year with my manager saying I am improving everyday 

Hi Dawn,

Would you say you’ve felt better knowing you’ve said something whilst waiting for your assessment? I’m so afraid of messing up my career, but I’m in two minds because I’m still waiting for my assessment. Unfortunately people are using my meltdowns to try and get me disciplined, so I feel as if I have no choice. 

Hi Bumblebee,

I’ve recently joined the community, and have posted something today similar to this discussion, and you’ve pretty much answered my concerns. I'm on the waiting list as well, and I have mentioned this to my boss’ boss, but not in a lot of detail, and I’ve recently had an episode where I couldn’t control my tone of voice/anger and I feel like it’s making me out to be a problem. I don’t think I am, as when it comes to doing my actual job, I am told I do it very well. 

I don’t know whether to say anything without a formal diagnosis, but it seems to have made things easier for you when you did? 

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this. You’ve really made me feel some relief. Just hoping my manager is as understanding as yours! 

I'm not formally diagnosed but due to issues at work, I told me team, and my Managers. (I wouldn't really recommend saying anything without a diagnosis unless you really need to). My team were fine, I was also dealing with PTSD counselling so they knew that I was struggling and have been very supportive. My managers responded by being even less communicative and more inflexible. It made it quite difficult and I've had a number of issues. I was given a wellness action plan to fill out by an outside source and sent that to three managers.... Who still haven't spoken to me about it.

At one point, it got bad enough that they referred me to 'higher management' and that has been slightly better. Ironically, this manager is busier than they are but has been willing to sit down with me and work through the issues and the wellness action plan. He is still taking management sides on many things, and I can see a bit of gaslighting going on; however so many of the issues are so petty, that as long as he is talking to me about them, and some kind of resolution is being found that improves my situation, I'm willing to work around it. Picking your battles and all that. 

Think it depends on who you work for. With 2 employers, I’ve only admitted it due to crap situations and feeling I needed to defend myself somehow. The first was amazing and I had a really great manager and hr manager. The second have been ok but I don’t think they really understand, and the manager at the time was the reason as they absolutely flattened me. It's good to have for yourself, but I think it can be a bit hit and miss. Maybe take a good union rep in if you can. 

nice summary

its a tough one to decide

What is it that you want them to understand?

I work in the public sector. I disclosed potential AS at work when I was off with anxiety. Adjustments were made based on my anxiety. I didn't get offered extra hours this year as in years before because they didn't want things to be "too much" for me. I said please ask next time and I'll decide what's too much.

I disclosed my AS diagnosis a couple of weeks after the assessment. I was asked if they could do anything and I said they have done probably what they could with the adjustments for anxiety and that I'm still getting my head around the report. That was 5 months ago and nothing has been mentioned since. Probably because I just keep my head down. One thing I have difficulty with is getting my point across and unless I'm asked directly I don't mention things. 

I told a colleague at work who I know already looks out for me. It's all very well people knowing but she didn't know what to do with this information about me and neither did I.  You need to consider how others can help you, or what you need, or what you want them to know that you find difficult. 

Like I say. Depends on the boss/ employer.

It is hard for any of us to say because there are as many good stories as bad ones. 

All you can do is get the diagnosis. Tell them. Hope for a supportive response but know you are are protected in law if you don't. 

No, I've never needed much of an adjustment other than a bit of understanding. Good luck.

I haven't come out officially to my employer. But recently my manager criticised me in a performance review and said that other colleagues had been complaining about my communication. I don't want to go into why exactly, but I realised that they were basically correct. I went back over some of the logs of the chat software we used and realised how rude I must have seemed.

I felt really bad about it because I thought I was good at masking, and realised my colleagues must have thought I was trying to be annoying or being surly all the time with my one word replies and failing to explain myself properly. I was actually a bit devastated and cross with myself, because I know I can do better. When I get too comfortable with people I stop masking.

So I sent a long message to my manager explaining that I am being diagnosed with Asperger's and it was really scary but overall based on the response I think it went well. I'm lucky that my manager was understanding I think.

I still don't know if I would ever disclose it officially to the company (or HR department) or to my colleagues, because I am worried about people discriminating against me or treating me differently. Even if it's positive discrimination, I don't like the bigotry of low expectations or not being chosen for something because they assume I would not be able to do it. But in this case I wanted my manager to know because I felt it was reflecting badly on me if my poor communication was not explained.

You're so lucky. That's great that you are so supported. It helped that you were so highly valued before your diagnosis. 

I honestly have no idea if I'm valued outside of my immediate small team. I feel that if I say something it will be seen as a nuisance. Not that I'd need massive adjustments or anything. 

Thanks for your story. 

The biggest problem was the lies - you cannot have any kind of professional relationship with someone who lies all the time - over everything - and bending over backwards for his mates and blatantly screwing over everyone else - his mate once booked a total of 46 days holiday and over 70 days 'sick' - out of about 200 work days - all covered up.

Because they are only out for themselves and don't care which they tread on. They talk the talk to get the job, but can't actually walk the walk.

I once had a boss a bit like that. I managed to get out of that team for a job on promotion before he could do me any more damage, though. Phew!

I think it depends who you work for. Some folks have had horrendous experiences. Public service tends to have good practice. Some IT companies actively recruit people with ASC because their way of working and talents are ideal for the job.

I've been incredibly lucky. I work for local govt. My boss is a head teacher with years of class room experience with kids with ASC. He is also a very intuitive NT guy with a very big heart. 

When I thought this was just a MH crisis he was wonderful. After the total failure of MH services to help me, he never lost faith in me, no matter how much time I've had to take off. When I finally worked out for myself what was really going on under the crisis and initiated the assessment process, I told him everything. He recognised it straight away. He is so clued in. He said to me that schools pick up on boys whose melt downs cause them to be chucking chairs across the class room, but miss out on those who shut down or who hold it together only to melt down later at home, especially girls. He knew all that! He then sent me a bunch of links to really good resources on ASC and women. I can't believe how much knowledge he has.

He's bending over backwards to make me feel supported while I go through the assessment process and I will provide him with the outcome and any recommendations. I know I'll get whatever I need because he values me as a person and of course he'd like his data manager back on form with all her hyper focus and analytical know how, lol.

Bless him, he did once say to me that if I ever left, he'd follow me out the door. We are kind of opposite brain types with a lot of respect for eachother, who manage to plug each other's weaknesses with our respective strengths, and make the job work between us.

I think my boss is an object lesson in how an NT/ND working relationship with the right attitude can be wonderfully productive. I only wish I could sprinkle his positive attitude out to everyone's work place.

A diagnosis, however they respond, should give you some legal protections, at least.

Wow. That sounds really positive. I think you're right. I really depends on your particular manager and their knowledge and understanding. Thank you for sharing. 

When I started my current role, I was about 6 months into waiting for for the assessment and knew I still had another year at least before I was due to be seen. A few weeks in I decided to have the conversation with my manager and let him know I was waiting to be assessed and how I feel it affects me at work. He had already seen many of the examples I was giving and for the most part I am very good at my job. Its when I am dealing with other colleagues I am learning and trying to manage outbursts at them. I have found over the years I do much better in a role that has very high standards and everyone strives to meet them. Its the jobs where people do not care and do things I find completely baffling that I start struggling to manage working with others. 

My manager was very easy to talk to and gave me the impression that he has a better understanding of ASD than most, nothing was an issue. Then we went into lockdown .. I was furloughed right up until these last lifting of restrictions and had my assessment and got diagnosed during this time off work. On my return he has been great and kept me informed as much as he can, and we have the next few months set out with an idea of what we will be doing. I'll be predominantly from home with regular check ins and when we do go back to the office fulltime I have showed directors I can work just as effectively, if not more so, with some time at home and this will be integrated into my role on a permanent basis. I will only need to go into the office when I am actually needed in person, everything else I will be able to do from home. 

I don't know for sure but I think my manager has someone close to him who also struggles in similar ways and he has come up with different ideas and options moving forward that can make things a little easier for me. I do think it depends on the manager and the role you are in to how easy that conversation will be. I feel better for having it with him as I knew, eventually in time, it would have been clear to him that i was struggling if I didn't have a few adjustments.

It will be very interesting if anyone chimes in with a positive work experience. 

It was complicated how he ended up in that position - but he knew he was incompetent so acted as a hard firewall between the department and the rest of the company.

That's messed up. Sigh. Why do so many horrible people end up in management positions?

My manager was a chancer / liar and totally incompetent - had his favourites and mates and my workmates were lazy.      I was the highest qualified and most experienced but the others were mechanical engineers - I was electronics - I could easily do their jobs- (I'm a C.Eng) they couldn't do mine - so I got overloaded and used and abused with no help - they couldn't recruit so i was on my own - the stress made me ill.

The manager finally abused me in front of a director - I was taken out of that group as a serious safeguarding issue - abusing the only declared aspie on a site of 800 people.