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I am autistic.

Pesh

I have struggled my 40 years thinking I was always doing wrong things in other people's view and never linked why I have always found social gathering difficult and stressful. I don't have any friends and I always wore a mask to hide my struggles. Even when everything is going fine, hiding how difficult/stressful it's been to have everything go fine.

I have been put on waiting list for diagnosis, 18 months waiting list. I have started feeling very hopeless and feel like everything I have been trying all those years will never work, so why put effort. It's very demotivating.

  • maybe take u some new hobbies  to take your mind of the wait 

  • Waiting is very difficult, even the month I waited after deciding I definitely needed a diagnosis, was far too long. I think that most clinical diagnoses are merely confirming what is already known. It certainly was for me. There is a fair amount of literature out there that at the very least will help you understand yourself, and might be helpful. Realising that I was autistic was a relief for me. I recognised that I wasn't a neurotypical person being very bad at being neurotypical, but was a neurodivergent person who was doing quite a reasonable job of functioning in a society that was uncongenial to me or downright hostile. 

  • Hi Pesh,

    The waiting is awful. I'm anxious to get my assessment over and done with. 

    Your feelings are totally understandable. While you wait, you can still be learning new strategies for the things you find difficult. I hope we can help, there.

  • 1. dont worry about what other people think about you   ----- because believe it or not you are most likely incorrect 

    2. do u wear a physical mask or do u mean u mask as in you create  a mental front/persona ?

    Get some advice from your assessors when they talk to you next because they are the experts / professional who will give u the best advice. In fact have  list of questions for them and put them here as we can help a bit

    You havent really said what you have been trying so expand on those in a reply 

    but odds are, you arent doing anything wrong as such.