I have struggled my 40 years thinking I was always doing wrong things in other people's view and never linked why I have always found social gathering difficult and stressful. I don't have any friends and I always wore a mask to hide my struggles. Even when everything is going fine, hiding how difficult/stressful it's been to have everything go fine.
I have been put on waiting list for diagnosis, 18 months waiting list. I have started feeling very hopeless and feel like everything I have been trying all those years will never work, so why put effort. It's very demotivating.
