irritability, interacting/listening to others

Hello, 

I was wondering whether anyone else experiences heightened irritibility when interacting with others.

I get irritated when having conversations with people I know well, like close family members because I feel like after years of studying them and taking in every detail as an outsider, their behaviour, outlook and what they say has become really predictable. 

I wonder if through struggling with undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder I have come to resent the ease with which neurotypical people can handle daily life, which seems so at odds with my own experience. Perhaps I feel like I'm not getting enough support and recognition for my own struggles and difficulties. 

These kind of over analysing of others and my irritibility is making my life really hard. I even find reading the books set for my university course, like autobiographies, really difficult because I'm tired of reading about other people's experiences in a world that I am not a part of/which I can't relate to but which I seem to know inside out from all my research and observations.

Can anybody relate or offer any advice?

Thank you,

Parents
  • Update: I am beginning to see that part of the problem might come from feeling undervalued myself, which could be remedied by self-esteem boosting activities like creative output and finding a way to express myself. I am probably therefore creating an unhelpful split in my mind between me and everyone else. This means I expect too much of others - that they should be super interesting or super humble or something in order to get the right to talk about themselves. Perhaps if I find a way to develop my own voice, there will be more space in my life for the voices of others, which I can judge more generously, kindly and less harshly.

Reply
  • Update: I am beginning to see that part of the problem might come from feeling undervalued myself, which could be remedied by self-esteem boosting activities like creative output and finding a way to express myself. I am probably therefore creating an unhelpful split in my mind between me and everyone else. This means I expect too much of others - that they should be super interesting or super humble or something in order to get the right to talk about themselves. Perhaps if I find a way to develop my own voice, there will be more space in my life for the voices of others, which I can judge more generously, kindly and less harshly.

Children
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