• Replies 33 replies
  • Subscribers 90 subscribers
  • Views 10876 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Masking and Unmasking

TheLoneWolf

I find this video really interesting......what do you all think of this?

I want to hear from everyone....but female peeps, especially please chime in. I rarely bring up gender. I feel equal...I demand respect-I don't need to talk about it or try for it.

However, I think there is a universal reaction that when a man is direct--he's respected/taken well......when a woman is direct--she's a ***/intimidating/not taken well.

I feel like I've ignored this fact in my past...and have thought in the past that people should be evolved enough to not take it that way---and yet I tend to get specific reactions....mostly negative, some positive/respectful. Sometimes starts as negative and warms up to positive over time.

Thoughts?


Parents

  • I remember watching the as part of my research before my diagnosis I found it interesting.

    it's hard for me to speak for others with their experience with masking, for me however it gets a bit more complex than just masking.

    When I was doing my research I was researching autism in adults, specifically. Then I kind of branched off into the differences between men & women with autism as adults and how it presents differently sometimes and what could be looked out for for in young boys and girls. (specifically girls as it seems that we've got a better grasp of identifying autism in young boys).

    The thing that I found strange was that I identify more on the side of what would be considered more female autistic traits, and just some info about me. I'm 22, male, straight, I'm regular when it comes to that I haven't had any issues with sexual identity (luckily enough for me). I think that might have something to do with why I didn't get diagnosed until I was 22 as well. From that video and other research there seems to be, almost a consensus that females are better than/mask more than boys. I think that may be true and there are, I think at least many reasons as to why that could be. I could get really into this but this reply will end up being a book.

    The main thing for me at least which I find interesting is that I seem to have a lot more of the 'female autistic traits' rather than the male ones. Even though (apart from the fact I'm autistic) I'm just a regular man.

  • in reply to O

    Write me a book.....I'd love it! I myself  afab (newly learned term) that identifies with male and sometimes I feel feminine---but mostly male, somewhere in the middle at times. I'm learning about gender non-conforming vs binary & how your gender expression (wearing dresses/makeup as a straight male) and gender identity (what you feel you are inside) are two different things. Alot of this makes sense, bc my entire life---I've felt there's two categories of men. Ones that celebrate women & ones that are threatened bc they present themselves more masculine which is against the norms. I approach business situations as I will have equal power as men & time & time again there's negative vibes/outright strategy against me. Very rarely, only the confident males have seen it as a positive thing/adds value. It's a good thing I run my own company now.....bc I think before I've just been hitting the glass ceiling. It took me over a month to get a $7k promotion at my last job when they agreed to re-evaluate my salary.....it shouldn't have taken 5 mtgs when all my deliverables/kick a$$ness was out there to see. I expect more from people---but maybe that's a mistake lol.

  • in reply to TheLoneWolf

    "Very rarely, only the confident males have seen it as a positive thing/adds value."

    I consider myself bigender (amab) and all of my female partners have been pretty darn direct. Much more direct than myself. I like that; it's useful and I know that it complements/balances my more cautious and 'see each side' approach.

    I think there is a half-decent proportion of males who have female partners that are really quite direct and that's part of the reason why those partners are together.

    I guess it is a kind of confidence of mine/of ours. A confidence and comfort in not needing to be in control of everything. I wouldn't generally call myself confident, but in some areas such as 'not needing to be number 1', not feeling threatened by the thought of playing second fiddle, then yes, in that way I'm confident -and I think there are, thankfully, quite a few other males (or amab) who feel this way too.

    And I appreciate we could do with a bit more of this open attitude.

Reply
  • in reply to TheLoneWolf

    "Very rarely, only the confident males have seen it as a positive thing/adds value."

    I consider myself bigender (amab) and all of my female partners have been pretty darn direct. Much more direct than myself. I like that; it's useful and I know that it complements/balances my more cautious and 'see each side' approach.

    I think there is a half-decent proportion of males who have female partners that are really quite direct and that's part of the reason why those partners are together.

    I guess it is a kind of confidence of mine/of ours. A confidence and comfort in not needing to be in control of everything. I wouldn't generally call myself confident, but in some areas such as 'not needing to be number 1', not feeling threatened by the thought of playing second fiddle, then yes, in that way I'm confident -and I think there are, thankfully, quite a few other males (or amab) who feel this way too.

    And I appreciate we could do with a bit more of this open attitude.

Children
No Data