# Daily Updates 2 #

I’ve just talked to GP. My usual GP wasn’t there and so I chatted online with different one and he insisted on calling me. So we had a phone chat. My GP wanted me to start therapy and I wasn’t sure and today I just wanted to tell them that I’m willing to try it. But this guy just told me to self refer to IAPT and kept asking me why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling (you’ve got house, you’ve got family, husband, job - why aren’t you happy? You’ve got everything) Maybe he wanted to help me but he made me feel awful because I’ve got everything and still feel anxious and depressed and thought about killing myself. I’m so ungrateful, weak and negative person. And now  I’m crying again. 

Having those kinds of thoughts is absolutely nothing to do with what you have and don't have. It's a frickin pain in the *** when people who have absolutely no fucking clue about mental health use that kind of line and assume it's of any use to anyone. It makes me so mad!!!!

Counselling is an excellent tool and it's worth doing. They can help you to pick everything apart and get to the root of the problem. There is no shame in it and it can give you some excellent perspective to help you understand your own mind that little bit better. 

If at all possible message your GP, tell them what has happened and also inform them of your decision regarding the counselling. There are plenty of brilliant resources that you can use while you wait, (Buddhism works very well for me) but the most important thing is to understand that you are worth far more than the moron who judged you without knowing your history. Life is complicated. Sometimes, you need someone to help you to clear a path through.

zen buddhism works really well for me as well.  Counselling just bounced of my autistic mind it is just too tough.

zen buddhism works really well for me as well.  Counselling just bounced of my autistic mind it is just too tough.