for all people suffering ,,,,,stop blaming others,,,,,,, zen

I don't know that I agree. You can't fix a problem until you really know what a problem is. And sometimes there is a moment when after years of trying so many different things you realise you are not the problem. The situation you find yourself in is not merely indifferent to your aspirations it actively opposes them. And then you start quoting hamlet "To be, or not to be? That is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and, by opposing, end them?" Because if others really are to blame you have a choice, you can sit in a little pity party and give up trying to fix the broken things that frustrate you so. Or you can choose the path of conflict and 'take arms against a sea of troubles.' Maybe the real criticism we should have of ourselves as autistic people is not that we blame others for limiting our opportunities but that we've been too conflict adverse when they do.

Zen teaches u that the solution is within you at all times its never anywhere else !

Zen says, everyone is pure and good,,  you just have to remove/quiet/see through the bad thoughts  and thinking ( imposed by society etc, and created by your own mind "the ego" ) to return to the real you

to people who say "take up arms", I say you go ahead, you do it.

But dont use, or encourage,  the vulnerable, or anyone i know,  to do it for you

Zen says ---- your views are allowed you are just on the wrong path 

Zen just gave me a headache, lol,,, it is so difficult,   coming from a background/upbringing of pure violence to that of pure peace with life and the universe  ( equanimity )

Well I come from a christian tradition so take a different view. As we like to remind people if you ask what would Jesus do remember chasing you with a whip is on the list of options. You don't have to hate people to seek conflict with them, just to recognise there is a situation that won't be resolved without conflict. Passive self sacrifice is noble, if it serves some higher purpose or is protecting someone. If it's merely a means of escaping conflict for an easy life then its ultimately self serving.

thanks for the encouragement. I will. I can already see how misguided so many people are and II'm not even on the first rung of the Zen ladder

aidie said:

He's been doing it for days now against me lol  but being Zen I forgive him 

his karma will be messed up big time lol

Perhaps work on your Zen a little more Aidie. 

That is true. Unfortunately because this is a world predominantly populated by NT people, we have to work in a system that functions better for them than us. But that doesn't make it impossible. Blame has it's use but shouldn't be used as a beating stick. That serves no purpose. I got hit by a car a few years ago. Broke my wrist, developed PTSD which still affects me now. I could blame the driver but there isn't any point. It was an accident. 

My managers on the other hand actively do things that affect my anxiety and depression, they don't offer support where it's needed and actively gaslight myself and others. I blame them for that. But I'm not going to rant and rave and tell them I hate them. I'm also not going to let them get away with it. I need to consider my health and the health of the next person with mental health issues who has to deal with them. Whether they like it or not, they will receive an appropriate education and will learn to manage a team effectively. 

aidie said:

Temple Grandin " you cant use autism as an excuse "

Of the little I've heard of her work I can't say I'm a fan. This is the woman who said, I believe, the more severe forms of autism should be eradicated while the mild left to survive. Sounds to me likes she's confusing the severity of autism with the severity of intellectual disability. It's posable to be very severally autistic and of average or above IQ. I'm not sure she understands this ... if she does then as far as I'm concerned what she advocates is barbaric.

I totally agree 

this thread has just served its purpose

aidie said:

I am waiting for MyKal to vote me down now with a -1 now. such a bully/troll

You're pretty handy with the down-votes yourself - please don't pretend to be an angel.   

that works in both directions ie Neurotypicals are considered evil/bad by some  which is bigoted thinking  thus this thread inspired by Zen  and indeed Temple Grandin " you cant use autism as an excuse ".

I am waiting for MyKal to vote me down now with a -1 now. such a bully/troll

He's been doing it for days now against me lol  but being Zen I forgive him 

his karma will be messed up big time lol

Maybe. I guess the part that I'm thinking about right now is the tail of the good samaritan. People don't have to be 'one of us' to be worthy of our compassion. Unfortunately where I'm standing it looks like not being 'one of us' is all the licence some neurotypicals need to try to pick on or exclude autistic people. I don't think we're doing them or society a favour by letting them get away with it.

From what I understand that is less to do with Christianity and more to do with evolution. Communities that worked together and protected each other had a better chance to survive and grow. Morality is ingrained in us because it benefits the whole community if we respect the wellbeing of others. That gets taught to each new generation who use previous experiences to grow and adapt. 

I guess I do mean christian conscience or something similar to it. That we all innately have some sense that respect for the wellbeing of others is morale. Now our understanding of wellbeing is limited by our perspective and knowledge. The serial killer and the surgeon both cut people with knives, but they have a different intention and knowledge. But we don't lock surgeons up if they get it wrong, just take away their knives.

We'll have to disagree on the definition of person in that instance.      Do you know the whole story?

not funny a person was killed 

I would have done the same - but he was sloppy. 

where is this conscience ?

do u mean Christain conscience ?

or do u mean----   do what u think is right ? 

this is what Zen challenges 

so he was wrong according to your reply

Mr Martin made 2 mistakes - shooting them in the back and telling the police - no bodies makes cause of death more tricky to ascertain,.    Plenty of pig farms around there......

yes their was a case in england whereby the owner shot the burglars dead(?) as they where leaving  but he did time for manslaughter

I once had a south African man say to me that he'd made history, that most of the people he'd grew up with had, because they'd lived through apartheid and done nothing. None of them particularly liked apartheid, but none of them cared enough to take a stand against it. And that future generations would judge them for what they didn't do. Doing nothing doesn't absolve one from blame or responsibility. Every choice you make (including the choice of doing nothing) will be judged by someone somewhere. The best you can do is follow your conscience.

That would be obvious to me if the need arose - if people are smashing down my door, they'd better be prepared for the reception.

That would be obvious to me if the need arose - if people are smashing down my door, they'd better be prepared for the reception.

We'll have to disagree on the definition of person in that instance.      Do you know the whole story?

not funny a person was killed 

I would have done the same - but he was sloppy. 

so he was wrong according to your reply

Mr Martin made 2 mistakes - shooting them in the back and telling the police - no bodies makes cause of death more tricky to ascertain,.    Plenty of pig farms around there......

yes their was a case in england whereby the owner shot the burglars dead(?) as they where leaving  but he did time for manslaughter