Moving house

i lived in my parents home all my life until age 31 or 32 or something, then got lucky in life and moved out into my own place.

was always wanting to move and have self reliance and security, which is a good thing, but i did feel sad and it took a while to sink in that i had moved and this new place was my place and my reality now. i even sorta felt sad to be leaving behind my arguments with my dad lol as he was always on my case all the time to get a job and move out and always was stressful to deal with but yeah on my final day of moving and before left parents, my motorbike ready and about to step through door my final goodbye did feel sad, just a normal bye im going now short type of thing i usually do and leave but the feel was in the air that its final and im going and i think we probably all felt it, no matter the arguments or hard to get along a parting is always sad and my dad was silent too so i guess hed miss me even though he wanted me gone so badly. its also a sign of time moving on, time passing us, aging, life moving on, times coming to a end, its all a depressing thing really.

I’ve always struggled with moving. I hate it. Every time we moved when I was a kid, I would always wake up moving day expected to go to school but I would get super ill and dizzy. My parents probably did not need that on top of moving day. 

I also remember going on a trip at 18 and my parents moved out when I was gone so I came home to no house. So sensory overload from the trip and then no house - I had no idea about neurodiversity back then. That really sucked! 

overall it takes months for me to adjust to a place, maybe even a year! 

I moved into my own home 3 months ago after living at home for 31 years, I live with my partner. I was so ready to and excited and something that needed to be done and then it actually happened (I knew what was involved) but I sit on a night time just feeling so low. Though its one of the most stressful things someone can go through, it also seemed so normal, everyone does it everyday. But I am struggling so bad. I miss home so much but visiting will remind me of the fact I'm not there anymore. I hope it gets better and I get used to thing.

And me, I've moved around 25 times so far

I understand how you feel now more than ever.

I have been moving my whole life. I live in Sweden but my family is originally from Poland. I don’t remember the change of countries since I was only 2 when it happened but ever since then we have moved houses about 5 times. This means I never rly settled anywhere and I’ve struggled to find “my place” as a 20 yo. 

Changes were always a big struggle for me. I found out I was coping with them in other ways. Tried to gain control through food etc (which led me into a serious ED that luckily am almost recovered from).

I never rly made a big deal out of the movings but at the same time I never felt at home in our apartments. Now, for the first time after 6 years of living in our current home, I feel like I belong here. Yet that feeling is yet to be destroyed since I got the opportunity to get my own place and will move out in a few days. At first I was so excited but now I’m suffering from anxious sleepless nights and terror of how I will manage alone. But I think the worst part is the awareness of closing a chapter. I won’t go back to this home that I got so attached to, my room that is my personality, my things.  I’m feeling extremely sentimental and I just want to stay. People tell me to be excited but I just can’t right now…I need time to grieve. 

Hi Sophie. Yep, when I moved from my parents home to where I am now it was stressful and took a long time to adjust to my home now. You do adjust eventually it becomes the new normal but it is stressful especially during the moving process.

I've been through it a couple of times, and each move brought its own set of challenges. Packing up all your stuff, saying goodbye to the old place, and diving into a whole new neighborhood can be overwhelming. But hey, you're definitely not alone in this struggle! Many of us have faced the same situation, so don't worry too much. Honestly, what helped me cope with moving was finding little things to look forward to in the new place. Exploring the local cafés, parks, and meeting new neighbors made it feel more exciting than scary. By the way, I recently moved to a new condo at Lentor Central [link removed by Moderator], and it's been a blast getting to know the area!

Moving house can be both exciting and overwhelming, but remember to take it one step at a time. Don't forget to label your boxes for easy unpacking later!

Moving house can be challenging for anyone, and it's perfectly understandable that you're struggling with it.  It's natural to feel sad and mourn the loss of the familiar when you're faced with such a big change. Separately, I want to say that there are international investment companies that have an office i[link removed by moderator]. They specialize in real estate investments and understand how difficult moving can be. If you ever need advice or help, I think they could help. Your feelings are valid, and you don't have to minimize them just because there are more significant problems in the world. It's okay to take time to process your emotions and seek support from your loved ones.

Currently in the process of attempting to move.  It's horrendous, the system is just not fit for purpose.  I always said we would never move and once this is done I will be coming out feet first in a box before I do it again.  We can;t stay where we are due to my struggle with sound/noise and the new neighbours are a nightmare. 

Don't deny your emotions they are real and they are valid. Moving isn't just a new place it is the change of your routines, habits that keep your senses and nervous system calm.

I have moved 10 times in 12 years, for work predominantly, and am on the cusp of another significant move if it all happens. It never gets easier but there are things you can do to help.

Once in your new home make a real effort to make it homeley. Your mum will likely be needing this sort of help to, so do it together perhaps? Will be therapeutic.

Then, establish your new habits from where you live to the places you used to go. This is very important. It will take some weeks, but once you know which buses or trains to take, where your favourite shops are in relation to your house and where places of calm are (park, forest, beach, public gardens). Then accommodate your favourite interests, where are those catered for?.

Once you start recognizing your new map of routines, you will realise there is nothing to fear. Moving towards the things that scare you, by choice, will naturally lessen the fear. Hide from them and they will intensify. A hard truth to tackle, but you can do this.

I try to remember that my emotions are real, but they aren't in control, ultimately I am in control of my actions and I can change these to help control my emotions.

Wishing you well with this. Keep talking and vent your concerns 

Yeah, I could get my ex to act as guarantor, or pay 12 months upfront from savings. It's arranging viewings and communicating with agents in general that I can't handle. If I could figure out how to communicate I could cash-buy a flat and stay there forever.

Hi Sophie,

Yes I've had to move house a few times now, mostly during my teens which had added to the anxiety and confusion I was already experiencing.

I really hated moving house. Each time it was so stressful because I focused on the things I was going to miss and worried about where I was going. What if I didn't like the house? What if the neighbours are noisy? Things like that.

The last move was a struggle. However it was worth it. The house I'm in now is beautiful and probably my fav one. Been here six years and it's in the countryside and I really love it.

Moving is horrible at the time. But once you've had time to adjust and get used to your new surroundings I think it can be positive as well.

I hope it worked out for you in the end.

What do you mean by the world ending if you cry?

Do you mean you feel more withdrawn or shut down or don't really find yourself crying much? I'm just asking because this statement feels somewhat polarised - which is fine, there is something to the autistic wiring where we can appear 'bi-polar' with emotions until we become more true to ourselves. 

How do I cry?  It seems to me like an impossibility and if I cry the world ends.  Maybe being make makes it biologically difficult for whatever reason. 

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I found a solution for low earnings obstacle at last, one of my friends agreed to be my guarantor next time I want to move

It's more finding a place to live that's the issue. Agents and officialdom in general are a brick wall to me. I don't like owning much stuff so I'd probably just throw a lot out and walk everything else over to wherever I ended up moving to in multiple trips 

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HP35 said:

let me move in with them

and oversee the process of moving if it's to much,

my last change of flat, though inside the same city was to much to handle, but a friend helped me, overseeing rented crew