Burnout Advice

Thank you Michael,

That's actually really good for me to do I will definitely use that approach.

Normally I can handle it ok and I'll be fine after one day of just being on my own doing my thing but I've just started a new online course which I've never done before and it's completely thrown me out my routine so I'm having to adjust to my new routine now that in it's self is burning me out even though I'm enjoying what I'm doing. So thank you for that I think that will help me from my mind going all over the place.

Hey,

Birthday wishes to your mum, O.

First thing first. Give yourself a break and chill out!

With burnout, the first thing I have to do is to check in on my stressful thoughts. This is the best way I know to begin to talk myself down from the edge, so to speak, and not allow myself to be carried away on a stretcher by my emotions. I will still need to rest and recover, I know that, but it will be much easier to rest and quicker to recover if I'm not weighed down by all the fake news in my head.

Here's how I would approach your situation, O:

Is what I thought about my mum's birthday true? Have I even considered the possibility that the opposite could be just as true?

I've had to plan a lunch out with my mum and my brother.
Is this true?
Did I really have to plan it?
Did anyone force me to plan it?
Could I have done something different?
My conclusion: I chose to plan it. I wanted to do it.

My brother is useless.
Is this true?
Is he really useless?
Why is he useless?
Is it because he doesn't plan birthdays?
Is he good at some things but not others?
My conclusion: Just like me, my brother is good at some things and not so good at others.

I'm not good at remembering birthdays.
Is this true?
My conclusion: No, this can't be true all the time. I remembered my mum's birthday this year.

I'll definitely be burnt out tomorrow and the day after.
Is this true?
How can I know what will happen in the future?
My conclusion: I can't know for sure how I'll feel tomorrow or the day after.

Now. I've given myself some space and stripped out most of the weeds in my brain. I can breathe! I can also make some positive actions.

I can send my mum a nice e-card.

I can or make her a card (which comes straight from my heart)

I can tell her the truth that I've been so buys organising a day out for her that I've forgotten to buy a card.

Now, I can smile and take some rest. I've done my best in the situation and I feel good about myself. Yes, I know my body sometimes shuts down after I've had a busy time. But that's okay. At least now, when I take rest, I'm taking it with a smile on my face and in my heart. I'm not doing it in anger and resentment.

Much love,

Michael x

Yeah I don't really see much point to them to me it's just another day I don't mind the odd happy birthday from people here and there but I don't like making a whole thing of it for myself but birthdays are a really big deal in my family so I have to participate.

Thank you Ben! I didn't think of that so thank you!

I sent her one this morning and she liked it she didn't even know that that was a thing.

HI O, Give yourself some credit. I too am crap with birthdays, they just have no value to me and I don’t understand the fuss people make about them. However, you did remember, you’ve put a lot of work into organising something I’m sure your mum will appreciate and you should be proud of that.

Afterwards though give yourself some space and time to download. I’m quite basic, so just shutting myself indoors watching trashy TV for a few hours or a few days (depending on level of burn out) and I’m recovered enough to get on.

Hello 'O',

Have you thought about sending your mum an E-card?  I've done that a couple of times when I haven't been able to get to the  shops. Some websites do them free of charge; and they can be quite fun.

Take as long as you need to get over the burnout.  Indulge yourself in your hobbies, favourite films, books etc, daydream a bit, daydream a lot, go in your mind to a favourite place.  And avoid other people, if you can. Lots of 'me' time.

Ben