Anyone else feel this way? [NSFW]

When you have no relevant experience of the feelings experienced by a poster asking a question, you are allowed to scroll past. I know you think your opinion on everything is so important it can't possibly not be shared, but honestly sweetie, it really isn't.

Its a thread for people to share the unfair pressure society has put on them to view their own sexuality in a negative way.

You can't honestly believe the OP is advocating for autistic people being infantilised?

Well this is a thread for people who do feel that way. Is your back button broken?

so just to be clear. you do in fact view your sexuality as child like? and think that other adults should infantilise you (in terms of your sexual autonomy / sex life)?

I'm not trying to have a go. I totally get the idea of being asexual / disinterested in sex but thats quite different from thinking of your self as child like for sexual purposes? That's a very unusual point of view. Not one I think most autistic people, verbal or otherwise, would agree with.

Yes. It feels exploitative and abusive, similar to pedophilia, when people are sexual with me. I dealt with it by putting a no sex boundary in place with my partner and coming out as asexual a couple of years ago. Much happier now.

Do you feel unable to do that because you're financially dependent on your partner? i.e. you don't really have the option to refuse sex in case it results in them leaving you which could put your physical survival at risk?

I was scared about that too and assumed I'd end up homeless or dead, but things came to a head when I had a meltdown which meant I couldn't go on with things as they were. It's been two years and so far things are holding together. My partner has been helping me find independence and I'm a lot more able to work without the stress of a sexual relationship affecting my mental health.

I will be honest in a way I understand for over a decade its rather he's to hard to train I'm not teaching him more than I need to or being let go because I'm not normal. The only reason I can't work customer service anymore is because of discrimination. At the moment my depression is so bad I can't handle any complex feelings and I desperately protect my mental health because it took me 60 weeks but I have it back.

I feel the same. My situation is different I process a lot of information when little is needed I often feel shame for it and have been discriminated againced because of my autisum. Bipolar depression developed. I'm starting to feel better not but I honestly don't think I could handle the emotional implications of a relationship past friendship at the present.

You know if you type in 'autism' and 'sexuality' or some similar combination of keywords into google you get mostly 2 kinds of result. Research papers which by and large say that autistic people have sexual needs which they find much harder to meet than NTs. The other kind is articles written for people working with autistic people largely about how to try and stop them having sex. I think this is partly exacerbated by the fact that much of the material is focused on dealing with autistic children. Too many professionals dealing with autistic adults just slip into the same mode of thinking they adopt for autistic children. I think one way to prevent internalising this sort of infantilisation is to challenge it robustly whenever you encounter it. Remind yourself that it is they who are thinking wrongly about autism not you.

Maybe write down a concise paragraph on a card that explains what you think of professionals tendencies to infantilise your sexual needs and insist on handing it out to them when they behave in a way that makes you that you're being treated as if you shouldn't have those needs.

Presumably you understand everything you need to know about sex and can consent to sex with your partner. Has anyone ever expressed concern about this? Or is this internalised because of how people have treated you about other areas of your life? 

Were you abused as a child? I was. And I have a lot of fear and trepidation about sex.

One other question, do you identify with the child in you? Or do you identify with a perpetrator?

Ah! I can't pretend to understand your situation. But you are most definately entitled to your sexuality and to be treated as an adult - missing words or not. As long as your partner doesn't see you as a child, personally I let anyone who thought otherwise get stuffed. I hope you find some more useful advice here from people who've been though something similar.