Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello!
I was wondering if anyone else else feels the same way about dating apps?
I’m 40 and single. I was diagnosed with ASD 7 weeks ago and it’s explained why I’ve always struggled in relationships. With everything that’s gone on in the last year, dating apps seem like the only way to meet anyone now. I’ve always found the concept difficult to grasp, very fake, I never know what to say and seem to struggle to match with other people then can’t get my personality across without seeming weird as I have a very dry sense of humour. Now I’m concerned about how someone will react to me being autistic as I’d only be able to be honest about it. I’ve found it’s best for me to avoid the apps altogether, but I don’t want to be alone forever. It’s very frustrating!
Sorry about this but the vast majority of people using dating apps are not looking for a relationship.
The blokes are looking for naive women for a quick shag and the women are looking for thousands of men telling them how wonderful they are - and free meals out. It's messed up.
You're better off looking at your childhood hobbies and meeting people into the grown-up version - and you'll find people there will be more on your wavelength - and any women there will have already pre-screened themselves into "people you would like to spend time with."
You know one of the best ‘dating’ services I’ve tried had a feature where you had to pick on sign up, are you ‘naughty’ or ‘nice.’ You could change it later but you had to pick, and search results could be filtered using naught or nice, you could even block one or the other from talking to you. I think this is brilliant.
ive never actually seen a singles bar, I think they only exist in Hollywood films now, but I’d say if I was running one putting a ‘naughty’ or ‘nice’ badge on as you come through the door would be compulsory.
so assuming you are right about the gender balance the majority of men who want a sex first encounter can compleat for the minority of women who want that, stiff competition. And the majority of women who want a relationship first encounter know they have to compete hard for the minority of men who want that.the two large groups have both had a lot of bad matches removed from the search results. That’s what good dating services do, take very large pools of people and filter out obviously bad matches leaving the human to browse the rest. Sadly very few services these days actually do this.
Sooooo easy to game the system.
Still very predictable how to get through these traps to get what you want. Like doing the old psychometric tests at job interviews.
1 on 1 dating is dead now - it's too much like hard work. Blokes are effectively paying for sex in dinners - with no guarantee of getting anywhere. Women are getting their egos massaged and a free lunch.
I have friends on dating sites - sex is easy in you can play the game - but the older you get, the more set in your ways you become and accommodating someone else into your life is usually too much hassle.