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Using Dating Apps As An Autistic Adult

JimmyMann
over 3 years ago

Hello!

I was wondering if anyone else else feels the same way about dating apps?

I’m 40 and single. I was diagnosed with ASD 7 weeks ago and it’s explained why I’ve always struggled in relationships. With everything that’s gone on in the last year, dating apps seem like the only way to meet anyone now. I’ve always found the concept difficult to grasp, very fake, I never know what to say and seem to struggle to match with other people then can’t get my personality across without seeming weird as I have a very dry sense of humour. Now I’m concerned about how someone will react to me being autistic as I’d only be able to be honest about it. I’ve found it’s best for me to avoid the apps altogether, but I don’t want to be alone forever. It’s very frustrating! 

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    As Plastic said, dating apps are very shallow and full of people looking for a shag.

    I am like you in that I struggle holding down a relationship. Men find me attractive and unusual at first, but then they don't get my humour, and I've been told by pretty much every ex-boyfriend ever that I am "cringey and embarrassing" in social situations.

    Have you tried meetup? I think the best way to meet people (friends or potential partners) is through shared interests/hobbies.

  • over 3 years ago in reply to violetdr3amer
    violetdr3amer said:
    Have you tried meetup? I think the best way to meet people (friends or potential partners) is through shared interests/hobbies.

    Yes - meetup is great for a low-risk social scene-  I've been a member for over 5 years doing coffee meets, bowling, pizza evenings, pub nights etc.

  • over 3 years ago in reply to Plastic

    Have you made any friends through meetup? I tried it before and didn't have any luck - it mostly seems to be people much older than me who have very normal jobs, interests etc

  • over 3 years ago in reply to violetdr3amer
    violetdr3amer said:
    I found with 'alternative' people, attention seeking, immature NTs who seem to be dragging out high school forever. 

    LOL Smiley

  • over 3 years ago in reply to Plastic

    See I used to have an eccentric extrovert mask and was open with all my quirks, stims and weird jokes (this was pre-diagnosis) but it backfired spectacularly... people don't like it when a woman acts like that, they get scared.

    And yeah that's what I found with 'alternative' people, attention seeking, immature NTs who seem to be dragging out high school forever. 

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  • over 3 years ago in reply to Plastic

    See I used to have an eccentric extrovert mask and was open with all my quirks, stims and weird jokes (this was pre-diagnosis) but it backfired spectacularly... people don't like it when a woman acts like that, they get scared.

    And yeah that's what I found with 'alternative' people, attention seeking, immature NTs who seem to be dragging out high school forever. 

Children