Visitation for autistic father with intense anger issues

Rage is usually built up. sometimes over years. If he’s continually frustrated by noise, by lack of breathing space, lack of a purpose or finances, if there’s even a list of unmet needs and broken relationships it all just adds up.  

With this information I wonder if he’s afraid of hurting his child. 
But there does appear to be a lot here which could use proper evaluation and I wonder if you have access to a therapist. Or prenatal care? 

I don’t tend to lose things when I do it’s startling. Before I completely overturned my whole life, I first left my sons father- I hated when he interrupted me. But that was a power game for him. It gave him a sense of satisfaction to constantly interrupt, throw me off. It meant I couldn’t focus on work and it cost me financially. Now my son can interrupt me whenever  we have a different contract - I am responsible for him in every way. but I know not everyone views their children the way I do... add males are different than females.

A legal counsel would advise to write down everything that happens which feels unsafe, the date, time and incident. Sometimes humans throw cats in a way so they land on their feet. I’m hoping he didn’t recklessly damage the animal? 

Again, I think it’s important you’re not alone. And if you have family you can rely on, I wonder if they can help. There’s a good deal of advice here, but you are in a situation that needs practical support. I had my son in London and we had a pre-natal group meet up every few weeks. Something like this would be a positive force for you right now maybe? 

Even if you changed all the lightbulbs to halogen and incandescent and you sound proofed your rooms or de-noised the house and even if you only used natural non scented cleaning products, or natural essential oils, he would still need to do the work of learning to mend past hurts, work through old habits and learn mindful techniques to leave immediately when the frustration is too much until he matures enough to make more immediate adjustments or communication skills. We all have work to do. Hopefully you have access to someone with authority (like a certified therapist) who can help you cope. 

JuniperFromGallifrey

Hi Juniper,

Thank you for your understanding, you are right, the multiple posts are a result of sheer desperation and panic. With every answer I receive it raises another question as I'm getting no answers from the person I need them from the most. For this I apologise, I did not mean to cause offence.

It's funny you should suggest I paint him as a monster as this is how he tells me his past girlfriends used to describe him. So I think the problems he has with relationships  started long before me.

I suppose it now feels like the diagnosis will come too late, the damage is done, and from what Blue stated, there is no therapy that will help with his anger issues. 

I guess I just need to give it up as a lost cause and stop hoping he might come home. Thank you for your input, I will check out the site you suggested x

JuniperFromGallifrey

Hi Juniper,

Thank you for your understanding, you are right, the multiple posts are a result of sheer desperation and panic. With every answer I receive it raises another question as I'm getting no answers from the person I need them from the most. For this I apologise, I did not mean to cause offence.

It's funny you should suggest I paint him as a monster as this is how he tells me his past girlfriends used to describe him. So I think the problems he has with relationships  started long before me.

I suppose it now feels like the diagnosis will come too late, the damage is done, and from what Blue stated, there is no therapy that will help with his anger issues. 

I guess I just need to give it up as a lost cause and stop hoping he might come home. Thank you for your input, I will check out the site you suggested x