Visitation for autistic father with intense anger issues

Lulu you are going about his all wrong, your other post has made it abundantly clear what the problem is, it’s you. 

a man without autism wouldn’t put up with your behaviour. Your husband is intelligent and he probably has realised what direction your heading in and knows that you are going to try and block custody to his child. so it’s not within his interest to continue with the mental gymnastics that you are deliberately creating. He probably what to see his child but the drama your causing is making it hard for him to regulate his emotions.

the unpredictable behavioural outbursts aren’t unpredictable, they are extremely predictable and you are actively unconsciously or consciously provoking the out bursts, just stop it.

the kitten thing is not okay, but like it or not you are trying to control and dictate to him what he should do. His video gaming is a decompression behaviour in moderation and your have harassed him to stop making his tolerance for stress and sensory bombardment to extremely low. 

you are pushing him and more than likely your behaviour has gotten worse or changed to an extreme because you are pregnant and expect him to do stuff and wait on you hand and foot without actually talking to him and asking for help around his routine structure that support his neurological difficulties. 

Therapy isn’t going to help your husband, it’s not designed for autistic people. Even if your no longer in a relationship with your husband you still got to make reasonable adaptions for him. 

Hi Blue,

First of all, if I was planning on stopping him seeing the baby, I wouldn't be on here asking for advice on the subject, I'm here asking so my mind could be put at rest that the outbursts won't happen when he takes the baby on his own. Had I decided he wouldn't be seeing the baby, why would I be on here bothering to ask for advice on this matter and advice to hopefully save our marriage? 

I'm a firm believer that it is the right of the child to see both parents, so please don't throw accusations you have no real basis for, it's not productive in the slightest. 

Secondly, I know that, amongst other things, I have been part of the problem, had I realised he was autistic prior to the breakdown of the marriage, I would have realised his behaviours were probably down to this and not taken it so personal. Again that is why I am here asking questions, so I can learn from those who know about it the best.

Thirdly, to suggest that I deliberately provoke him is just plain cruel, you have no idea of the extent of injuries and threats I have experienced when he has his meltdowns, there is no way on earth that I would deliberately cause this to happen. In fact I feel like I'm walking on eggshells a lot of the time trying to avoid it. It even happens due to things completely out of my control, yet somehow I become the punch bag. So, again, please don't throw accusations presuming you know what is going on in my head, if you want to know then ask, I'd gladly tell you, but please don't just throw unhelpful accusations about something you know nothing about.

Hi Blue,

First of all, if I was planning on stopping him seeing the baby, I wouldn't be on here asking for advice on the subject, I'm here asking so my mind could be put at rest that the outbursts won't happen when he takes the baby on his own. Had I decided he wouldn't be seeing the baby, why would I be on here bothering to ask for advice on this matter and advice to hopefully save our marriage? 

I'm a firm believer that it is the right of the child to see both parents, so please don't throw accusations you have no real basis for, it's not productive in the slightest. 

Secondly, I know that, amongst other things, I have been part of the problem, had I realised he was autistic prior to the breakdown of the marriage, I would have realised his behaviours were probably down to this and not taken it so personal. Again that is why I am here asking questions, so I can learn from those who know about it the best.

Thirdly, to suggest that I deliberately provoke him is just plain cruel, you have no idea of the extent of injuries and threats I have experienced when he has his meltdowns, there is no way on earth that I would deliberately cause this to happen. In fact I feel like I'm walking on eggshells a lot of the time trying to avoid it. It even happens due to things completely out of my control, yet somehow I become the punch bag. So, again, please don't throw accusations presuming you know what is going on in my head, if you want to know then ask, I'd gladly tell you, but please don't just throw unhelpful accusations about something you know nothing about.