Published on 12, July, 2020
I wondered wether there’s something in being on the autism spectrum and having reduced sexual desire-not come across anything in my reading yet so wondered what people’s experiences are? Oh and asking as a woman too. Thanks
Equally, I also wonder whether hypersexuality can be a problem. I'm thinking of the character Saga Noren in "The Bridge" and the bar scenes where she turns up specifically for casual sex. Yes, I know she's fictional, but I found myself identifying with some of this.
I've not seen this film but I certainly found myself hurting a lot of people in my younger years by seeking casual-only sex. Men seem to get attached to me but I just often wasn't that into them.
Yes, I sort of felt it was all very unfair as this approach seemed to be taken by a lot of men and it was just accepted and laughed about ("Aw, he's a lad!"). I guess some of this comes under "***-shaming" but I felt attacked as a whole person because I thought I'd understood " the rules" based on what I'd learnt at a very rough comprehensive school. Those "rules" clearly didn't translate very well into a university or workplace environment. And to me that felt totally wrong because I'd had a hard time learning those rules and how to succeed at that version of the game.
Mind you, that's a feeling I have in life generally. A constant shifting of sands and neverending thoughts of, "Where is it written that..." or "How was I supposed to know?"
I hope so too. At least we can enjoy being ourselves now
Exactly. I wish I could have felt earlier on in life that it's OK to be me and I hope that people who've unfortunately fallen into this trap can still enjoy lots of years of being more authentically themselves.
Im so glad! I met the right person too and again it caused problems because of my reputation and the fact that my old friends still expected me to be that person on nights out even though i didnt want to be cos I was happy with her.Thankfully those friends are no longer part of my life and i am settled in my marraige. My drive comes and goes and still causes me problems and temptations sometimes but alot less than it used to.
I feel I can be me much more now too. Im glad that you can feel like yourself.
Ah, my endeavours eventually resulted in me meeting the right person and gradually I was able to drop the mask. It caused a lot of difficulties early in that relationship, though, because my past was known and it's not the sort of past most people want in a lifelong partner.
My sex drive waning was also a big help and the menopause a total relief, as if someone had removed a kind of mind control drug from my bloodstream - a bit odd since many women will want to take hormones to restore their drive. I'm glad to see the excessive desire just drop away because I now feel more real and more like myself.