Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed with Aspergers a few weeks ago (at 40 years old). During the assessment I was amazed when the specialist explained how most NTs would have answered the questions and how different that is from how I think. The adaptive strategies we develop allow us to pass as NT but the thought processes behind the actions are so different! I recently read that NTs typically maintain eye contact 50 - 70% of the time during conversation and this blew my mind. I am really interested to hear other people's thoughts and experiences of atypyical thinking in social contexts. I'm planning to get some specialist counselling to help me think through it all but I'd love to hear other lived experiences. Thanks!
Hi Jen
I might sound really harsh on this one - I've done a lot of analysis on the subject.
I'd say the biggest difference is their ability to lie.
The entire NT culture is based around status so they continually lie to promote themselves (eg. Facebook). It's mostly small stuff - exaggeration - but it's constant and pervasive. From signing out from work 5 mins early to avoid traffic to making promises to appease but with no intention of follow-through.
It means you're actually never dealing with the true person - you're interfacing with their surface web of lies - so your version/impression of that person is different to another person's view of them depending on which lies have been spun to which people.
It does my head in.
I am an NT living with ( not at the moment see either poat Living Together). This is what my parrner finds so cofusibg about me. She says how I totally change things how what I say and what I do are two different things. To me they are minor things small details i am not even aware of doing anything and it makes me upset and angry and frustrating doing or saying things i dont and havent. But often I have!
Thanks @Topbob this is exactly how it is with my husband. He never does or says anything bad but the small things in conversation that I guess NTs don't pay attention to stick out to me so badly and I have to consciously process them and tell myself it's ok before I can move on.
Ah, that explains why when in work conflict my version never becomes the believed version! I just stick to what happened with no interpretation or embellishment, so i guess no impact or emotions.
We often get accused of having repetitive conversations - but that's because we provide a truthful account of any situation - like a tape recorder.
NTs embellish and exaggerate positives and diminish negatives with every retelling - so eventually their account of a situation becomes a completely false story of how they 'wanted' the event to have happened. It becomes the truth - their truth.
This can only end in conflict when both versions are recounted - but because of our poor social skills and our disbelief of the falsehood confusing us in the heat of the moment, the NT's account is usually taken as more truthful and believable! .
A crazy world.