Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed with Aspergers a few weeks ago (at 40 years old). During the assessment I was amazed when the specialist explained how most NTs would have answered the questions and how different that is from how I think. The adaptive strategies we develop allow us to pass as NT but the thought processes behind the actions are so different! I recently read that NTs typically maintain eye contact 50 - 70% of the time during conversation and this blew my mind. I am really interested to hear other people's thoughts and experiences of atypyical thinking in social contexts. I'm planning to get some specialist counselling to help me think through it all but I'd love to hear other lived experiences. Thanks!
Hi Jen
I might sound really harsh on this one - I've done a lot of analysis on the subject.
I'd say the biggest difference is their ability to lie.
The entire NT culture is based around status so they continually lie to promote themselves (eg. Facebook). It's mostly small stuff - exaggeration - but it's constant and pervasive. From signing out from work 5 mins early to avoid traffic to making promises to appease but with no intention of follow-through.
It means you're actually never dealing with the true person - you're interfacing with their surface web of lies - so your version/impression of that person is different to another person's view of them depending on which lies have been spun to which people.
It does my head in.
Your spot on in my opinion. I think they have a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT world view to us. I don't know if they are all like that as I have NT relatives who seem pretty decent (maybe I don't see how they are with others? ) but in general that's fairly accurate. They are constantly in that game. On of the biggest things I notice of all is the level of twofacedness (I think this is a diagnostic trait of an NT person :) ) It seems second nature to them. They enjoy that. Thats one of the reasons I'm grateful to be autistic.
I find this response interesting because as an undiagnosed potentially autistic woman I have suddenly been plunged into the realisation that most of my relationships are based upon a tendency for me to mirror other people and masking my awkwardness and social anxieties. Is this not in itself a web of lies? I do fall into the typical autistic trap of being honest and blunt, but I'm not sure I am as confidently honest when it comes to being myself. I'm not really even sure who I am any more...
I am an NT living with ( not at the moment see either poat Living Together). This is what my parrner finds so cofusibg about me. She says how I totally change things how what I say and what I do are two different things. To me they are minor things small details i am not even aware of doing anything and it makes me upset and angry and frustrating doing or saying things i dont and havent. But often I have!