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People, people, people

hohner

People are trouble, meeting with people is hell, talking to people exhausting.

Any thoughts on how to engage with people without fear, stress and anxiety. ? I seem to think that something is going to happen to me. A simple meeting in time,, an appointment has me up the wall, stressed. It is as if they have control of my life,, and I therefore can not move, run or fight. I see people as hell, animals and demons.              :(( Does any else hate the world and people, especially groups of people.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I try too - I'm very trying!

    But I spent too long living my life by past experiences and it was to my detriment and I live with the guilt of the detriment I 've caused others too. "Smile and the world smiles with you" is more truth than cliche. Let's try get the world to smile eh?

  • SmileThanks "nice" people for the constructive replies. I think the all or nothing generalisation is a way of protecting myself, but long-term does the opposite. So I will try looking at people on an individual basis again. Sorry, I have had so many bad experiences and let downs in my life,, it is hard not to hate the world. But at least with you's guys you understand my side, thanks for the advice and empathy   Smile look smiley faces,, I am trying.

     

     

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I'm with you Easy - people react to and avoid bad vibes/negative body language. I find I get much more out of people by being open and friendly, infact I'm renowned for being a "happy smilely friendly" person (if only they knew!) But happy friendly smiley usually gets a similar response which in turn makes me feel good and makes it easier to deal with people. 

    An example of this - I have a friend who has spent his whole life at odds with the world, but for immaterial reasons has recently changed his attitude and outlook and his body language/vibes reflects this. Now when he walks into a pub he's no longer billy- no -mates-leave me alone. People chat to him, ladies chat him up, in short he's no longer the scary ogre but an approachable friendly guy. And he says he's wasted so much of his life hating and being hated, yet simple changes have made such a huge difference to it.

    All his various issues are still present but he's looking at things from a more positive perspective and the world reacts in a positive way to that which in turn makes him more positive - am I making any sense....?!

  • I would start by trying to see some people as OK.

    Think as people as different, get away from your negative generalisations.

    I think your negative expectations are affecting your body language and attitude and causing people to react badly to you because you are giving off bad vibes.

    Try to expect a polite and useful meeting, or at least act as if you do.

    If you think people are bad and hostile they will pick up on this and reflect it back.

    Avoid hate, its very self destructive.

    Even if people are bad ( and in many ways they are ) there is no need to hate.

     

  • They can be annoying. They are noisy, intrude on one's privacy, and they scrutinize you. When walking, I usually walk with my head down so as to avoid looking at them. I find that this takes away some of the anxiety. But we need people too - they support us, provide us with meaning, comfort us when we are down. It is double-edged.