How do I encourage my partner to get things done?

I am NT and generally a very 'go getting' type, I know my partner procrastinates and I accept it however, sometimes things do need to be done.  Call the doctors or go food shopping it doesn't matter what but I don't know how to help him to get motivated.

Please help I am asking for actual ways or words as I don't want to upset him or send him into a meltdown.  I find myself getting really frustrated and I am trying meditation to help control that.

  • I do meditation  what sort do u do/trying ? it takes a while for things to improve ( for me 1 year )  but i am autistic which i believe is a big factor

  • sort waiting for solution to spark in my head Stuck out tongue

    meditation won't work for me, if I lower my blood pressure even more I fall asleep,

    family trait - very low blood pressure

  • though I do something kind off similar, except it's involuntary Stuck out tongue

    I stop when walking and freeze like a statue, and submerge myself deep in thought for various length periods of time, 

    I started to look on a clock whenever I get up from my desk to observe time gap, and its between 15min and 1,5h

    unless it's a symptom of some ilness, that I don't know about, I will not fight it, because I find it useful, and it happens only when i face a dilemma and need to think it over properly, sometimes i come up with some solution during  the freeze.

    does it mean i'm totaly messed up ? yes or no it doesn't matter, because I kind of like that messed up me more then me in mask

  • Masking is unhealthy, it's the neurotypicals trying to force a brain type onto us that we don't have and will never have. 

    Even the best maskers will eventually run into problems with their mental health. 

    I mask at work but otherwise I'm me and everyone else can go take a run.

  • I really don't want him to mask at home or with me, i do want him to be himself because when he masks i know he isn't being truthful and i will pay the price eventually for 'forcing him to do something he doesn't want to' but at the same time i know he does want to do certain things but is scared to (again i get).

    If truth be told here I want to live life to the full and our idea of full whilst verbally is the same, practically I don't think he can.  I don't mean that in a bad way, I believe if thngs take effort they are worth the reward but he believes if its hard just give up.  Like saving hard and going without for a bit to have the holiday of a lifetime, like working at a ND relationship thats about learning and accepting one another takes time and can be really hard but you do what you can to accommodate your partner.  I know I have to accommodate (not change) to suit his needs, Am I unreasonable to want the same?  Its not natural for me to do some of his things, they bother me but I have to be the one to go without??

  • I stop when walking and freeze like a statue, and submerge myself deep in thought for various length periods of time, 

    that  appears to be a autistic shutdown

Reply Children
No Data