How to deal with unwanted/unsuitable gifts?

"I usually end up exchanging or selling unwanted gifts too, but recently, my friend surprised me with something unique, and I had to find out where he got it! I stumbled upon [link removed by moderator] , and they have the coolest personalized bobblehead gifts! I was so impressed by the quality and how much it resembled me. It's a fun way to turn an unwanted gift situation into something enjoyable. As for handling other gifts that don't suit your sensory needs, maybe try having a gentle conversation with your loved ones, explaining your sensitivities and preferences. They might not fully understand at first, but open communication can make a big difference."

Phew!  Well, in the NT world, of course, the only correct response is gush with gratitude, tell them how much you love it (even though you don't) and then leave it in the back of the cupboard until you send it to the charity shop or give it away. NTs are only sometimes actually grateful for their presents. The pretending is for the benefit of the giver. It comes under that category of "white lies" we don't get.  But you've worked that out by now, right? I did the hard way when I was 10 and realised Santa was my parents. They didn't get why I was furious they'd lied to me, rather than appreciative of their effort. I know, I'd still rather folks hadn't wasted cash they maybe didn't have, than bother just so they could wrap something.

Personally, this is the reason I HATE Christmas, all this social pressure to spend hundreds buying stuff no one really wants or needs for the sake of opening something.

Don't get me wrong, there are times when someone gave me something they really thought hard about and gave it with love, generally when neither Christmas nor birthday made gift buying an imperative. I truly treasure thoes things. Likewise, I've been known to just buy something for someone I love because I saw it and knew it was absolutely them and they would love it. But I hate having to do that "because it's Christmas". Anything bought under thoes circumstances, tends to be just wrong.

All you can do is what you are doing...be explicit about what you want and if that doesn't work, acknowledge the thought at least. You could try agreeing with your nearest and dearest just to keep it to an exchange of cards or to make a donation to your favourite charity in your name.

Agree with you. It is hard to say to a person that you don’t like their present. And it is hard to return a present when a parent gifts it to you. then they like to ask, ‘whee are the socks I gifted you? What? Why did you return it? I see you don’t appreciate my presents. And so on and so far. It is even more frustrating that you’ve talked about it to them, and they still don’t get it. then just ask for gift baskets you can choose on your own, or for money, so you can buy what you want

If someone is mad at me, I ask them what they want and why they are mad.
I try to listen and come up with a solution that fits both sides. Maybe that helps? 
Sorry if this is bad advice. 

thats where I am going I am embracing the impermanence of everything in this life ( buddhsm ) 

Its really tough but worth it honest

---- it is ok  i am autistic,  but i have found i have some extra bendiness to me which allows me to survive a bit better. I think its because i watched  the  Ku Fung ( series )  when young and took it really seriously. 

i'm not judging you,,,   so do what feels correct / reasonable  ---- i mean  just ignore me

Yeah..... see I already give a lot. I moved to middle of nowhere, have to put up with people around us that are toxic but still have an attachment to my stepdaughter, and generally put off a lot of things I enjoy because of what my gf and our little one need so I don't feel like me looking for some order in all this chaos is unreasonable.

put it up  in order to please your girlfriend -- this is a learning process/challenge.  see if u can accept this picture to please your girlfriend. Clean it everyday as it represents your love for your girlfriend.

relationships arent perfect so this picture is here to remind you of imperfection

Quick update - Spoke to my parents and they are mad at me. I could tell because my mum was giving me a hundred questions why I am allergic to some stuff, why size 11 socks won't fit me when I have size 13 feet etc?  Oh well, if I don't get receipts I will have a trip to charity shop.

Girlfriend is being a lot more awkward. I said I don't want to put an unframed canvas up as it will get dirty (legitimately my only issue with it - I love it!) and to get it framed will cost double what the picture cost. I would like to return it and get a framed print of the same picture instead as this will solve the issue. She doesn't like that plan and I have no idea why. Are all NTs so illogical and moody?

This whole situation reminds me of an episode from the TV comedy, The Gilmore Girls.

Where one of the Gilmore girls, the mother turned up at her daughter's house and asked her to return to her several years worth of presents she had given her.

It turns out that the presents had originally been given to her by her mother in law, and she had gotten rid of them by passing them to her daughter.  Now, the mother in law was coming for a visit, so she needed the presents back to maintain appearances that she had liked and kept the presents.

I hope the above plot makes sense.

The basic idea is that if you get a present you don't like, give it away as a present to someone else.

I really understand how you feel.

Like listening to an echo of everything I've said over the years...

I think great gifts are something you didn't know you wanted or needed but suit your tastes perfectly. Unfortunately, you need someone who is carefully tuned in to you for this. Most people feel the need to buy something for buying sake. 

Could you not ask in future for a voucher? Could you ask for the funds to be donated to charity? What about a nice meal out or cooked for you instead? 

This year a friend and I said no presents.  I got a twenty pound voucher for a shop I'm not fussed about off her.  This was given to me two weeks before Christmas. It angered me. I now had to get her something in return. If I'd opened it on Christmas day I wouldve just accepted but not got her anything back. I was really cheesed off by it as I felt it was (passive agressive? ) and she distinctly went against a rule which had been mutually agreed upon.

I get tonnes of stuff off my students usually at christmas.  The non edibles almost always end up at the charity shop.

Yesterday, I spent Christmas with my wife and her son. I gave no presents, and received nothing. Took me years to achieve this state, but finally got there (people take some convincing). Just some cooking, loafing around, walk with Gromit the dog; virtually zero stress. It can be done...

I with you on this one.    I didn't get a single thing that I either wanted or needed - it was what other's had decided to give me - even though I will never use any of it - except grudgingly to make them feel better about themselves.    What a waste of time, money and energy.     I specifically didn't want any money spent on me.

I know I sound horrible and ungrateful but as some of you know, this Christmas means a lot to me.

I only asked for one thing - something small and personal - something free - just something made for me.   Instead I got consumer junk.

Ups Sry it shouldn't quote! 

BigDonnyP said:

upset

Hello!

I really understand how you feel. I am in the same situation with my family.

To be honest i think your script is great and I don't understand why people get upset by that as you clearly say that you appreciate the effort. 

I have heard that some people like it better if you put it this way: "Thank you I appreciate the gifts and the effort you put into this. Unfortunately they don't fit quite, therefore I will exchange them, but I am really grateful for it! So thank you!"

Like ending with the grateful part and emphasizing that maybe. 

Or don't tell them at all. Or do you need to ask because you need the receipt? 

This is a situation millions of people face.  Unfortunately there are no hard and fast rules what to do.

Same as you, I also received two pairs of socks yesterday, a also have around forty.

The key is not to offend people.

One suggestion is to take the goods back to the shop and get your money back.  I have never tried this because my presents have never included an actual receipt.  And shops don't like giving refunds.