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My family successfully ruined my life

Roswell

He has bullied me throughout my life. Ruined my confidence and self esteem. I tried living independently but the damage was too much. I'm back with him and my mum now. When my mum goes out shopping and I can't cope going with her I'm stuck with him. And he starts being nastier, because he knows no one's there. I went out today and drank a bottle of wine because I felt so depressed being stuck with him. Then I sat by the sea, just looking out. Some busybody called the police and I got apprehended by them. They became convinced I was a danger to myself, they are being overcautious. Just because the sea can drown people and someone's sitting near it drinking a big bottle of wine, they automatically assume I'm going to do that. So now they brought me back home and told my parents to call them if I leave the house. Sounds like a bloody police state! And still my dad plays the innocent one, always gets away with it, whenever anyone like the police come, he always is ever so nice. 

  • The question running through my mind is: How aware is your mum? Is she complicit or does she not know? Or is he nasty to her also? The answer to that might shape your future relationship to her.

    But you aren't in a situation conducive to a healthy life where you are. Have you any outside help to draw on to be supported living independently?

  • Roswell, how old are you? If you're an adult and have your own mobile phone, the next time your Mum goes out and you suspect you will be subject to this verbal abuse. Put your phone on to voice recorder and keep it in your pocket. Record everything "he" says. Save it as a file on your phone and make a copy on a USB if you can. Do this several times over as long a period of time as you can. 

    Once you have all the evidence you need, take it to the Police, because yes it is a police state, and they are here to help if you use them correctly. Don't give up your evidence without making sure you have a copy and the police give you some sort of receipt.

    I think this will really help you. It gives you some control and a possible way out in the future.

    Good luck 

  • You have to leave these people. They've taught you no independent skills, and they're just damaging you further. It's such a bad environment, you have to do everything you can do to gain your freedom back. Home is not a home if it's a warzone, that you'd rather spend time with a bottle of alcohol in your hand than spend any of your time with them, that's when you know that they're no good for you, so don't waste your time on them. 

  • One day, he won't be there. And you most likely will. Before then you can leave. The trick is learning how to be able to survive without being abused. It's harder than you'd think as you found out.

    The golden rule as an Autist or anyone else in the mental health labelling system is to absolutely stay out of the hands of the police. You do this by learning what they look for, and simply not doing it. Now you know you can't drink outdoors without attracting unwanted attention. As an Autist if you want to be successful in normie world you have to try harder, be nicer, "give" more, and simply hold yourself to a higher ethical standard than most people have to, because, Autism.   

    And an "if they have no time for me, I have no time for them" attitude helps enormously to save wasting time on those who will never like you.

  • in reply to Roswell

    We both need a good ambition which we can work on th achieve with success. There are loads more with mental health issues now and beds are not readily given. Fear is part of the aspie thing , but is very real

    Blue carVisited Blackpool and Lytham earlier in the year en route to Scotland. Blackpool suffering with Covid.

  • in reply to DaveAsperg

    I'm right on the edge of Merseyside, near Lancashire. It used to be Lancashire here but it changed in the '70s. This is a Victorian seaside resort town. A fear I have is that I could be locked up and medicated against my will and become a shell of my former self, and forgotten about. I have seen that happen to other people. I don't believe it will happen to me but it could, the fear is always there. 

    And as you say there are always people out with scams. 

  • I think we are both in a bad place Roswell, and the bloody police have made it terrible for me. We Aspies are easy meat for them to kick around. Hang on in there pal. 
    They used a scam to prosecute me and we Aspies fall for scams frequently.

    which county are you in?

  • Unfortunately I don't have anything I can say that I feel will help you. Please know that I'm thinking about you though and hope that your situation gets better for you. Take care Slight smile