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Needing structure and a sharply delineated routine

Hope

I am finding it hard to deal with my relatively unstructured life post school and uni. I have imposed my own structure on my life, but what I really need is an externally imposed time-table like the one I had at school, telling me what to do at certain times. I find it hard to create my own structure because it feels looser and more subject to variation than an imposed structure from above. Most of my anxiety has its root in lack of structure, making me  feel insecure and causing my mind to wonder. While I can cope with small changes to routine, I can't cope with lack of structure and unpredictability. I have a part time job now, much to be thankful for, but it is very unstructured and depends on me taking the initiative far too much, causing stress and anxiety.

  • Do you get, or have you looked in to getting, help from Social Services, Hope?

    I'm sure that imposing a routine on you is something they could do (or rather, because of the way it works now, they could give you money to pay someone to do).

  • Hope you always have structure in the day just by living through the day, just depends on if you identify with it. WHO's STRUCTURE, WHO's DIRECTION, WHO's WORDS.

    I believe, you are looking to push into a "new structure" by saying you have no structure, but it is a trick of your own mind,, making your mental environment into uncertainty, but fear will push you forward, but also push you back. There is three parts to this,, one is your direction , second is who is commanding that direction and thirdly what you are saying about one and two. Only you can answer those questions, but I'll entertain you with a response.

    Get a longer houred job, get someone to tell you constantly what to do and let there words complete you.

    Get a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly plan on your own terms, it does not need to work, it just gives you your own false structural reality and map of your abstract world.

     

  • The job is very unstructured, and is only 7 hours a week. I mainly work from home. I have asked the boss to write down instructions for me but she often does not do this. I find it very hard to know what to do when I have to make the decision for myself.  In one respect working from home is great because I can control the environment, but it can also be demoralizing and a very lonely experience. I am often left wondering how I should fill the hours.

  • hi Hope - would your boss be willing to structure your job more, with a timetable, or is it the sort of job that varies too much for that?  bw