Autistic boyfriend can’t keep a job - any advise would help

i always had the urge to quit... i worked through that by forcing myself through martial arts, and good things came from forcing myself to not quit such as getting fitter being a badass and getting a super toned body and being able to handle life better... i still have urge to quit, but i can fight through it more especially as martial arts was essentially really hard work. my job i have now i wanted to quit many times, especially through the 16 hour shifts through december and the abuse our bosses gave us, but i stuck at it and didnt quit, and really good things came from it, id have regretted quitting... quitting only gives you regret... your boyfriend needs to learn that the urge to quit is temporary, if he toughs it out through that urge to quit it turns better and things get good. everytime i feel the need to quit i always remember it, and always know that when you feel a need to quit that good things always follow if you dont quit... every time i feel that need to quit, if i dont quit, it really pays off, it becomes the best decision of my life to ignore that quit feeling and you see itt, and the more times you do that, the more times you beat that urge to quit, the more times you get a good thing after and the more time you realise that urge to quit is actually a signal that your going in the right direction and good things are ahead.

That's an interesting post Caelus...

I have a different take on the matter, but yours in interesting and opens up some possibilties about how life can work that I'd not considered. 

A cautionary tale though can be taken from my own Aviation "career"..

When it came to career time they asked me what I wanted to do, and I replied "pilot". they then spent a while showing me how much of an impossible dream that was for such as me, involving as it did an R.A.F. apprenticeship or getting a degree. They also pointed out that since I was already fixing electricals for my income, (I enjoyed the challenge fixing presented as much as I enjoyed the challenge that thieving my previous most successful money making endeavour gave me PLUS I was actually entitled keep keep my spoils!) and computers was the next big thing I should look to that. Long story short, after a short career as a radio engineer, a longer one as a computer engineer, I decided to follow my dream.

I quit smoking and used the money saved to buy me one flying lesson per week. It was hard, I swiftly discovered that some flying instructors took an instant dislike to me and that 100 quid hour would be an almost complete waste of my time. Long story short I managed to get in abut 150 hours, own two aeroplanes, do six years of aircraft engineering. but the effort and expenditure required never paid off. I passed a commercial pilot aptitude test, got me a class one medical, but I could never get to practice enough, to get good at it enough, to actually enjoy the experience.And the nature of the people involved is such that I only ever made ONE good friend in about thirty years of being involved in that scene...

Finally I MADE myself quit, because, I realised I was literally wasting my time and money whilst not achieving anything useful, and certainly the aircraft engineering made me miserable, and damaged my shins & skin on a regular basis. for not enough money to actually get to do any flying myself. I thought being an aircraft engineer and pilot would make me a useful thing, an engineer who was able to test fly the thing afterwards, but there simply was no requirement for the two skills to exist together, it seemed, you either flew the things or fixed 'em for the people who could afford to fly the things.

I took my first lesson in 1987 I gradually applied myself more and more to the effort, but by 2016 I took stock, and realised it was the one thing in my life I had invested the most in, and which had delivered me the least joy, and the most unhappiness and fear.

I remember during "Solo Consolidation" (a simple task where having proven yourself capable of flying the aeroplane on one's own for one circuit of the airfield, you do it again repetitively for an hour or two, until they become confident enough to train you for the next bit, flying to a different airfield without getting lost. It was the only time I ever got caught up in the joy of flying and really enjoyed it, without having any worries or finding it to be grim and hard work.

But like you I wasn't going to quit.I knew it would eventually get to be rewarding. Except that it never really did. I do wish I had quit it earlier, and not invested a substantial part of four decades and many thousands of pounds that could have been better spent in "not being a quitter".

It's not enough to be strong in ones aim, you also have to "aim true" to start with. Aviation was a collossal blind alley for me, and sticking at it, was the wrong thing to do for me. Since 2016 I've been "quitting" a LOT more easily than I used to. I've decided that "struggling" is a fools game where one burns off one's energy for an uncertain result, and I will not do that any longer.

MY last job ended within 1 hour of my arriving, although it took me a further few days to realise it, when the new boss started openly mocking my previous employer in the very first meeting I attended. From that moment on, the job which should have been easy became a monumental struggle for me. I would have probably lasted a bit longer but my cat died, unexpectedly, i needed some time to deal with my feelings, and it gave me just enough breathing space to make me realise I did not enjoy working there at all, why I didn't and I that was probably the last time I will ever work for anyone again, outside of a voluntary or very temporary basis. 

You only get one life, and why spend it going somewhere that makes you miserable just so as you can pay the bills that need to be paid just so as you can keep going to that place that makes you miserable?

No wonder that by their thirties people retreat into drugs, drink, hobbies, or the fantasy world of the T.V set.

That's an interesting post Caelus...

I have a different take on the matter, but yours in interesting and opens up some possibilties about how life can work that I'd not considered. 

A cautionary tale though can be taken from my own Aviation "career"..

When it came to career time they asked me what I wanted to do, and I replied "pilot". they then spent a while showing me how much of an impossible dream that was for such as me, involving as it did an R.A.F. apprenticeship or getting a degree. They also pointed out that since I was already fixing electricals for my income, (I enjoyed the challenge fixing presented as much as I enjoyed the challenge that thieving my previous most successful money making endeavour gave me PLUS I was actually entitled keep keep my spoils!) and computers was the next big thing I should look to that. Long story short, after a short career as a radio engineer, a longer one as a computer engineer, I decided to follow my dream.

I quit smoking and used the money saved to buy me one flying lesson per week. It was hard, I swiftly discovered that some flying instructors took an instant dislike to me and that 100 quid hour would be an almost complete waste of my time. Long story short I managed to get in abut 150 hours, own two aeroplanes, do six years of aircraft engineering. but the effort and expenditure required never paid off. I passed a commercial pilot aptitude test, got me a class one medical, but I could never get to practice enough, to get good at it enough, to actually enjoy the experience.And the nature of the people involved is such that I only ever made ONE good friend in about thirty years of being involved in that scene...

Finally I MADE myself quit, because, I realised I was literally wasting my time and money whilst not achieving anything useful, and certainly the aircraft engineering made me miserable, and damaged my shins & skin on a regular basis. for not enough money to actually get to do any flying myself. I thought being an aircraft engineer and pilot would make me a useful thing, an engineer who was able to test fly the thing afterwards, but there simply was no requirement for the two skills to exist together, it seemed, you either flew the things or fixed 'em for the people who could afford to fly the things.

I took my first lesson in 1987 I gradually applied myself more and more to the effort, but by 2016 I took stock, and realised it was the one thing in my life I had invested the most in, and which had delivered me the least joy, and the most unhappiness and fear.

I remember during "Solo Consolidation" (a simple task where having proven yourself capable of flying the aeroplane on one's own for one circuit of the airfield, you do it again repetitively for an hour or two, until they become confident enough to train you for the next bit, flying to a different airfield without getting lost. It was the only time I ever got caught up in the joy of flying and really enjoyed it, without having any worries or finding it to be grim and hard work.

But like you I wasn't going to quit.I knew it would eventually get to be rewarding. Except that it never really did. I do wish I had quit it earlier, and not invested a substantial part of four decades and many thousands of pounds that could have been better spent in "not being a quitter".

It's not enough to be strong in ones aim, you also have to "aim true" to start with. Aviation was a collossal blind alley for me, and sticking at it, was the wrong thing to do for me. Since 2016 I've been "quitting" a LOT more easily than I used to. I've decided that "struggling" is a fools game where one burns off one's energy for an uncertain result, and I will not do that any longer.

MY last job ended within 1 hour of my arriving, although it took me a further few days to realise it, when the new boss started openly mocking my previous employer in the very first meeting I attended. From that moment on, the job which should have been easy became a monumental struggle for me. I would have probably lasted a bit longer but my cat died, unexpectedly, i needed some time to deal with my feelings, and it gave me just enough breathing space to make me realise I did not enjoy working there at all, why I didn't and I that was probably the last time I will ever work for anyone again, outside of a voluntary or very temporary basis. 

You only get one life, and why spend it going somewhere that makes you miserable just so as you can pay the bills that need to be paid just so as you can keep going to that place that makes you miserable?

No wonder that by their thirties people retreat into drugs, drink, hobbies, or the fantasy world of the T.V set.