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Help needed with relationship advice please

Gem

I have recently been in a relationship with my partner for 7months. He's the most caring ever ! He did used to joke about ocd and being autistic but as the months went on I noticed some trates ( I work in a special needs school ) we have done the test and he clearly is autistic BUT what I am struggling with is our relationship. He seems to think I lie about things which then spiral into senarios in his head. He can be awful and say mean things and does not listen to an explanation or how I feel. He can completely block me out of his life which makes me feel like he doesn't care. Has anyone else experienced this ? Constantly being accused of lying and then he can repeat the same argument days maybe a week later as it will come back into his head. I love him dearly he's amazing and so funny but this has ruined us both . He can't accept I have been faithful or My way of thinking is acceptable

Parents

  • Hi Gem

    .. I have had a lot of difficulty with relationships

    .. looking back I wish I'd know that I was well into the ASD/AS spectrum .. then perhaps I would have had a better understanding about my view of the world .. and the likely challenges I'd have interacting with people

    .. especially girfriends

    .. I like to think I'd have been able to spot my own patterns and how they were hurting others (particularly those close to me) ..

    .. perhaps if your partner had a better understanding about his position on the spectrum then he'd moderate how he interacts with you??

    .. sending a virtual hug ..

  • in reply to Up t'North

    Have you recently been diagnosed ? My partner is fully aware and with a little prompt would possibly go for a diagnosis with support. Would you have any advice on what would of made your relationship better for your other half on understanding you ? My partner is very open with his feelings, loving and caring . When angry he can be like that for days. 

  • in reply to Gem

    Hi Gem .. thats quite a hard one .. I think if we'd both had a good understanding of what was happening then a different conversation wuold have been possible .. as it was neither knew and so the relationship spiralled into the ground .. 

    .. In fact there were two significant relationships that went bad before I self-diagnosed

    .. and yes, I remember that when I fell into a black hole I could be there for days .. only afterwards realising that I'd been absent from the real world .. 

    .. my profile text may tell you more about my journey .. 

Reply
  • in reply to Gem

    Hi Gem .. thats quite a hard one .. I think if we'd both had a good understanding of what was happening then a different conversation wuold have been possible .. as it was neither knew and so the relationship spiralled into the ground .. 

    .. In fact there were two significant relationships that went bad before I self-diagnosed

    .. and yes, I remember that when I fell into a black hole I could be there for days .. only afterwards realising that I'd been absent from the real world .. 

    .. my profile text may tell you more about my journey .. 

Children
  • in reply to Up t'North

    Yes that is true , he is aware of some issues and he's just started his counseling BUT I think he needs to address the autism side as well to make things work for himself.

    Thank you 

  • in reply to Gem

    yw .. it's informative for me to articulate my feelings about all of this .. .. we can only go forwards tho

    .. reading your comment again - I'm sure you do try to understand, especially with the knowledge from your day job, but if he is sailing along unaware of the mess he's leaving in his wake little can change I feel .. 

    .. look after yourself .. it's not your job to 'fix' anyone else .. stay safe x

  • in reply to Up t'North

    It can be very difficult at times with communication. I obviously work in a special needs school but my children are high on the spectrum and it's completely different having a relationship with someone who has autism. I sometimes do try didn't ways of understanding but am guessing if he doesn't know a lot about it himself hell not get me.

    Thanks for your guidance