Set up

I recently tried to help an organisation as I thought it the right thing to do

The organisation publicly tagged myself and my team into pictures saying thank you for our work. The pictures were of a different area so I was confused but left it at that. Then the main person said one person had done most of the work but hadn't wanted to be named. 1 he had no work or very little in his area (the area I was associated with) and 2 he didnt even wave and treated us with contempt if we ever crossed paths. But I ignored it.

Now alot of people have been upset by pretty much vandalism in this area he was in. People saw us tagged on facebook and blamed us. Theres a hate campaign type thing going on. I'm losing sleep and getting asked on my daily walks why it happened and I genuinely dont know.

I commented on one post saying I'm genuinely sorry it happened and dont agree with it but it wasent us and I said what work we done.

I then got a private message from the organiser telling me not to reply publicly! I replied I will if we're getting accused of something we havent done.

I waited as I hoped she would put people straight. She didnt.

Speaking to a fellow volunteer I hear it was the organiser and her partner and they took great joy in it.

I cant prove this, but it makes sense why he didnt want to be tagged, they didnt actually need us they were quite capable it turned out. 

I honestly feel this has been a set up to pin their sketchy deeds onto us

So today I'm calling the boss, they will have an ultimatum. They publically tell people we're not involved or I will be doing it for them

I'm worried, I get shaky, I've again lost faith in humanity. 

I shouldnt have to deal with this by trying to do the right thing. I'm disgusted and disappointed. Scared and anxious. I've melted down, shutdown, lost sleep

Why do people think they can do this to us?

  • This person sounds very self-centred. Sorry you've had to go through this.

  • Yes you've said this alot on many threads. Setting someone up is actually the person not facebook

  • It will not blow over because algorithms will not let blow over. Unless Facebook gets totally erased from reality your stuff is set in stone in ways that most can’t comprehend. 

  • Sooner you delete the EVIL platform the sooner you’ll feel like you used to. 

    Facebook is tearing the entire world apart and people can’t see it. 

    Why does it happen?? 

    Because facebook is designed to to pick up nasty dirty posts. Algorithm bias always highlights users deepest darkest primal feelings. 

    Algorithm bias is causing old feelings left behind hundreds of years ago - to the surface. 

    They spend billions on designing the platform to cause addiction and fuel hate. 

  • I was once very trusting but find that as I grow older, I question more and become more cynical. 
    A long time ago a manager of mine reported that I didn’t deal well with management. I disagreed. I said I didn’t cope well with poor management. I didn’t cope with illogical management. 
    I try to help people and will do so enthusiastically if I understand and agree with their principles and I feel supported and enthused. If I am not then I really struggle. 
    Trust is paramount. I need them to follow through on their promises, I need them to give me since and time and understanding, and to appreciate that I’m Autistic and not just one of the crowd. 
    But that is easy to betray. Good intentions quickly fall by the wayside as they find it’s too much effort when they have to accommodate you separately from others and too often I find my trust collapses because it’s been built in quicksand or it was expedient to agree at the beginning but not now. 
    Sometimes, sadly, it’s easier not to trust and remain detached at all times. A sad indictment of the world we live in. 

  • Thank you, your right of course. You trust once more then it happens again 

  • Power. 
    They think they control you and you will be powerless to fight back. It’s abuse and it’s cruel. Sadly there are too many people around who are on ego trips and are narcissistic in their behaviour. I’ve been on the receiving end myself and all you can do is stand up for yourself or let it lie. There are very few allies in cases like this because others are scared of what might happen to them. I’m often the lone voice but I know, if I don’t say anything, it will haunt me. 

    Good luck. 

  • Just an update, the main person who did this did put out a statement it was them that done it but it was still quite vague and not fully saying it wasent us but whatever it's good enough. Anyway, the person is now playing the martre, people are sending flowers and wishes. Yet when we were wrongfully accused by this person we were given hate, on the internet and in person, daily! I dont want sympathy etc but I dont understand how someone who tried pinning the blame for their actions on someone who gave their own time to help them is seen as their being mistreated. People are so odd 

  • It sounds like that's the best way forward. Thankfully, there are lots of good people out there, but some are just awful.

  • I'm trying to keep clear now. People aon whole are so horrible. I struggle to understand

  • We got abuse and people laughing at us which I dont understand at all. But we cleared it up regardless. People here are ferral

  • This sounds like such a difficult, confusing situation. If these people aren't treating you with respect, then that's their problem - it's no reflection on you. I'm sure there are other places you could volunteer for (if you want/feel able to) that would appreciate your efforts more.

  • That's good of you! Britain is in a great big mess and has been for a while now. At least you're making an effort to put things right. 

  • Sadly your right. More anti social behaviour in our road tonight. I've just been sweeping up glass and rubbish before pets are hurt. I will think of these things yet others destroy and hurt everything and everyone. 

  • I'm trying to make sense of it, all I can think is God or fate or whatever is out there is sending you a message, they want you to take a different route. You're learning through experience. Maybe you need to avoid working for other people and do everything on a self-directed/self-employed basis whether that's work or volunteering. I honestly think the world would be a much better place, in any case, if more Autistic people were in positions of power. While it's nice for NTs to have social skills and they're able to be more considerate or charming in conversation - which isn't actually a bad thing, it makes life more pleasant - they are also more able to abuse this to be corrupt, just as these people have abused their position with your group.

  • So the boss said things will blow over. I said your potentially affecting peoples business as one person is now a target of hate. Hows he to support his family, especially at the moment. I also said what happened was nothing to do with us at all. We tried to do a good deed but feel we were used as a scapegoat. I said all this nicely as possible. I explained I'm losing sleep, people approach me in the street! I said if you dont put up a statement telling them it wasent the volunteers then I will. She said I should wait. She calls me later she will issue a statement I said again I want our names used saying we were in no way involved. The statement is released but it simply said the people working for the place were responsible. It doesn't say the volunteers arent. So I mulled it over. I decided okay I'll accept that. As its late I messaged rather than called. I said thank you for the statement I appreciate it. She replied your welcome, thank you for all you do (thank you in caps) I said thanks care she replied mmmmmmm. So confused by the mmmmmmm bit. Its upset me more tbh as I could have called them out on so much and I think they know this. These should be people you can trust. I feel i can trust no one. So upset. Plus they know I'm asd so I wonder if they thought they could try this on

  • I'd not finished the job and now I wont. I didnt ask for praise either but I think they done it to pin it on us

  • I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I really don't understand some people. I think you're doing the right thing by standing up for yourself and getting in touch with their boss. 

    I really hope things settle down and you feel better soon.

  • @mouse2

    If there's one thing life has taught me, it's that no good deed goes unpunished.  On the rare occasion I am in a position to be useful and actually give enough of a crap to be bothered, I don't hang about waiting for praise or recognition.  Generally GTFO before I get blamed for some managerial screw up.  Your situation sounds like another case of the proverbial you know what rolling down the proverbial hill, best to walk away before any of it lands on you.

  • Facebook has spent millions if not billions on purposefully designing their interface to create arguments and conflict. 

    Best thing would be to delete your Facebook and forget the evil platform exists. It’s not easy to delete as (like a drug dealer) it keeps trying to get you back using nasty underhand methods. Just keep deleting anything that comes back associated with the platform that is destroying humanity.