Thank you Plectrum

People just look at me strangely. I don't really get feedback. I just tend to get treated differently. 

Yes. I hope you can move soon too! 

Houses I like. Hard to choose. I've not been there for years, but when I was a teenager, I always wanted to live in Culzean castle in Scotland. It has these huge bay windows that have amazing views out over the water. I don't think I'm going to make it to living there, now. :-) 

I like houses from all periods because there have been different ideas through the ages, but tend to prefer more modern ones. 

I continue to hope I can move soon! 

Are there any particular houses you like?

I'm so relieved to hear that you are safe.

I sorry to hear that the pain is bad. Are you managing to keep your foot up much? I have only broken my little toe, but can imagine how painful it must be. I have a low pain threshold, which can be a problem when it comes to having painful things done.

I googled the film. It does look interesting and I like independent films. The actors are also ones I really enjoy watching... I am not that good with films these days, as I have to watch them in bits when they are very emotional or dramatic. It is frustrating because I used to love watching films. 

Thinking about architecture always makes me smile, because it brings back happy memories for me. My grandmother always wanted to be an architect, but couldn't back in those days. So she would always be jotting down house plans when I was growing up. I enjoy looking at buildings over the ages. Do you like modern buildings or is the house you were looking at from an older period?

Thank you for your well wishes. As you may have seen, I am trying out some self-help at the moment because I am not so well. And desperate for anything to help!

I am hoping that your neighbours are not giving you so much hassle. It must be awful having them. I am not good with loud sounds and background noise. I need it quiet and peaceful, otherwise I get really overwhelmed.

Take care. And stay safe. 

Thanks for that, that's a really kind message. 

My foot is in pain but I am safe. 

I watched half a film about a psychiatrist called R. D Laing today. The film is called Mad to be Normal. It's interesting and is changing my perspective. 

I also looked at a photo of an unusual house in Germany that I saved on my computer because I like houses with unique, creative designs. 

Thanks for hoping I am doing okay, and I hope you are too. Sounds like you are experiencing some difficulties too.

I think if I was reading you post about your foot and it being broken and you really having an awful time, I might try and say something like this. 

I am so sorry you are feeling so low. Are you safe? I am worried about you. 

That's awful about your foot. I hope that you get some relief about keeping it on a pillow. It must be excruciating with not being able to take any painkillers. Drug interactions are the bane of my life also.

I'm sorry about how things are with your counsellor. I have not had that experience with a counsellor, so I don't know what to suggest. 

There we go. I have said something more what I would have liked to have said. I don't expect you to answer, but know that I am hoping that you are doing okay.  

You're sooo right about melodrama. I get accused of that every day - using violent and extreme words all the time. To me it's just natural, I don't mean to exaggerate. People say i talk like a kid. 

Plectrum. My CBT brain would offer you all those techniques challenging negative self-talk from my years of therapy. My CAT brain can't help yet, because I'm not up to chapter 2 which is the bit that is meant to be the helping with pain in life. But what I feel is sorrow for what you are going through. And from what I am learning about ASD then that is a real feeling but what I have trouble with is expressing the thoughts of my emotions. So I think I sound melodramatic about my feelings. I don't mean to be and I think that it is a part of why my emotions could come across as being insincere. So I feel sad that you are embarrassed. I want to tell you that it is going to be okay. That you are going to be okay. That it will pass and you can fix it, if it needs fixing. IT can sometimes be a nightmare, I think. As a light example, My cousin WhatsApped me just today calling me sexy which he meant for his wife. So take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. 

I made a terrible error today, so its embarrassing that my name is now , erm, up in lights, shall we say.   I wrote a comment to someone that had a death in their family.  I drafted my comment in notepad app then cut and pasted it but left out half.  So the only part I pasted was some clumsy bla bla about friends , instead of offering sympathy.  I went back and edited the comment hours later but now I feel like a cheat because a lot of people have already seen it. i feel like digging a hole and hiding in it for a week now.  

Yes. I do need to be sorry. I just have real trouble knowing how to say sorry. I have posted on your other thread about your foot and how you are feeling at the moment. I hope that is alright, but if you would prefer that I don't post on your threads, then just let me know and I won't post. I so desperately want to help, so it is mortifying to me when I make things worse. 

You don't need to be sorry, It was my fault,  was suffering with my foot particularly badly when I wrote this (I didn't yet know at that point I could put it up on a pillow to make it ease the pain) but I didn't mention that in the post so you wouldn't have known. I find it hard communicating clearly myself, I didn't put enough detail in the original post.

Well you were the first to reply and that also takes some courage. It gave me courage to make a further reply.  Even though we are lonely aspies who want friends yet don't want them in some way, we all rub a bit off one another for good or bad, don't we?.  

Personally i thought your post was a bit like when i walk around with a grumpy face and someone says "cheer up, maybe it's not so bad" and they have kind intentions but it doesnt work with me so i say RAAAAAAAAAR and get even more grumpy.  See, i'm lightening the mood like you did - and i take a risk when i do it, like you did. x

I have been wanting to say sorry just as soon as I read your post, but was worried I would just make things worse. In fact I know I risk doing that now because I know I am crap at understanding what other people are thinking and so good at upsetting people. I have made so many mistakes in my life with people and I'm so sorry that now I have added you to my long list of them.

I never meant to and I am so sorry. 

I hate making big decisions and choices. I look back in anger. Some of the worst times in my life were crossroad type situations. I think for many people that is true. 

Therapists can be changed. There needs to be chemistry between you. Maybe the therapist also thinks they didnt do their best today. 

But there is hope, that's good. I'm genuinely glad. 

Or alternatively you were just trying to stay employed at a time when unemployment is rising.

I feel very lonely myself. I had therapy today and feel the therapist doesn't like me. Don't ask me why, I just sense it.

Anyway there is hope but I fear whether I know how to make the best decisions. There are so many choices. And maybe I don't know how to figure things out. 

But we'll see.

Hi, I don't agree, although I understand that you feel really despondent and low. I just wanted to give an honest account and not an excuse; a reason why caring can exist but not be delivered in full.

Today, my partner is furious with me because I prioritised something at work, as I was afraid of my boss. So I have now let two people down, I'm lonely and I'm a coward.

I don't deserve to have a partner. Maybe that's why I have a partner with health problems. That's the kind of thinking you end up with if you follow the fateful line of thought. I'm not actually sure I believe in fate, though. 

That is fate's way of saying no one cares about me. Even if someone does (such as yourself) the person is not given enough time to speak to me.

Hi Roswell

I broke my phone yesterday and I have just seen this message now in the morning.  I do feel sorry for you and I don't think that feeling is fake. I don't think mrs.snooks is faking either.  

If I said just message me any time of the day or night, that would possibly be fake, because I work long shifts and I have a partner with health problems that  require attention at home and it limits me going online during the night.

But it doesn't mean no-one cares, and it doesn't cancel out feeling sorry for you from a distance. I really hope you are able to move away from those neighbours and get some peace into your life. 

No more fake sympathy? Good.

What, what.

Roswell Yes I think it can be. But I still have hope. Hope that I can find some middle ground where I can survive out in a NT world.

What's wrong?