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Playing the Autism Card

Anthony

This is something which bugs me a lot so I’ve decided to voice it - I’ve seen it in here and in the world around me and it seems to be happening more and more - people playing the autism card. For absolute clarity, I wholeheartedly believe employers etc should make reasonable adjustments for ASD where there is a genuine need, but too often I am seeing people try to use their autism as a means of getting more or justifying actions which aren’t right.

As someone on the spectrum, I don’t want to stand out, I don’t want others thinking I’m getting specialist treatment or get away with stuff because I’m autistic. Drawing attention to the autistic cause negatively isn’t going to help anyone, least of all ourselves.

For example people have posted on here saying they feel they should get to break social distancing/ lockdown rules because they are autistic (despite the fact that this puts them and others at risk), a year or two back I knew an autistic guy who set off an alarm because he didn’t get his way, the real reason was because he was annoyed at someone and generally throws his toys out of the pram when he doesn’t get his own way - his defence was ‘I am autistic’ - so I challenged him on this, and he eventually conceded that he used his ASD to cover up for his behaviours. The same I feel applies to violence or other bad/ anti-social behaviour - there is a huge difference between a trait being activated and a learned behaviour to deal with it. If someone says ‘I hit that person because I wasn’t coping with a particular trait being triggered’ - that’s a fair statement. To say It hit that person because I’m autistic’ is not - I accept there are links and I gave more sympathy for young children on this one who don’t understand law, social norms and values etc but as adults we have to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions. 

So yes we should (if we want to) disclose ASD so as reasonable adjustments are made, but I wish people would stop misusing autism as an excuse where it shouldn’t be used. I worry people will tire of ‘but it’s because I’m autistic’ to the extent that genuine needs will get brushed aside - so everybody loses. 

*Rant over*

Parents

  • We're taught the goal is to fit in and be seen as normal. Normal people lie and cheat and use their position to get away with stuff - Dominic Cummings, probably knew he wouldn't get sacked if he travellled to Durham. Amir Khan is in the papers cos he's broke lock down twice to visit family.  Look at Prince Andrew and the Epstein affair and the woman who killed a kid on a motorbike then used diplomatic immunity to get back to the US and her and her husbands position to avoid been sent back to face the charges!

    These people are considered 'normal', so therefore using your position whether its due to health or wealth status is a 'normal thing to do'. You're 'fitting in'!

    Sometimes its hard for autistics who have been sheltered by family to believe everyone is good or has some good in them somewhere. Not everyone does, There are people out there getting beaten daily by people they trust, people murdering people or swindling them taking advantage of disabilities like scammers conning elderly to let them into give them a coronavirus test etc. This is the real world I'm afraid!  I have been that very naive self who believed everyone was basically good and it was wrong to be anything else other than good to make sure I fit in and was accepted as normal. You end up standing out more!

    The only way to escape it is to live incomplete isolation where its irrelevant to anyone else who you are if no-one visits or you don't see anyone. May seem bitter and cynical but thats what people have taught me from my very autistic viewpoint over the last 50+ years!

Reply

  • We're taught the goal is to fit in and be seen as normal. Normal people lie and cheat and use their position to get away with stuff - Dominic Cummings, probably knew he wouldn't get sacked if he travellled to Durham. Amir Khan is in the papers cos he's broke lock down twice to visit family.  Look at Prince Andrew and the Epstein affair and the woman who killed a kid on a motorbike then used diplomatic immunity to get back to the US and her and her husbands position to avoid been sent back to face the charges!

    These people are considered 'normal', so therefore using your position whether its due to health or wealth status is a 'normal thing to do'. You're 'fitting in'!

    Sometimes its hard for autistics who have been sheltered by family to believe everyone is good or has some good in them somewhere. Not everyone does, There are people out there getting beaten daily by people they trust, people murdering people or swindling them taking advantage of disabilities like scammers conning elderly to let them into give them a coronavirus test etc. This is the real world I'm afraid!  I have been that very naive self who believed everyone was basically good and it was wrong to be anything else other than good to make sure I fit in and was accepted as normal. You end up standing out more!

    The only way to escape it is to live incomplete isolation where its irrelevant to anyone else who you are if no-one visits or you don't see anyone. May seem bitter and cynical but thats what people have taught me from my very autistic viewpoint over the last 50+ years!

Children
  • in reply to Kit McDaydream

    I'm in my late 30s & my physical disabilities have left me in an electric wheelchair, I haven't felt able to go out in over 5 years now because I am swarmed by people trying to take advantage, Before then I was on high doses of prescription painkillers to enable me to stand on crutches, I am rather tall & it put people off a bit thinking they could take advantage, Still a few violent armed mugging attempts where the attackers ended up in hospital & I got arrested for losing control defending myself, Not charged but still very off putting when nobody will help & I am chastised for protecting my life, & those of my friends & family from people with a clear criminal intent...

    I think it's partly to do with the areas the council keeps putting me in, Known crime hotspots to the police for years before I arrive, But the council then try to put the blame on me, I've had to put cameras up to protect us from council workers lying that we said things we didn't, & Lying when they have been abusive toward us, Refusing any repairs & saying it's our problem, & Then trying to worm out of it when we get solicitors involved...

    The council are finally recognising most of my disabilities after years of them being sent doctors letters, & Emails from the local autism service they work closely with, But they are still trying to ignore that as an autistic man who is also a permanent electric wheelchair user, I am seriously vulnerable & a magnet to lowlifes looking for an easy target.....

    I am currently fighting the council trying to force us into another unsuitable property in an unsuitable area using the 2009 autism act, 2010 Equality act, & The 2015 Care act..... They can't keep putting us places we would be unsafe, I live as a prisoner in my own home with constant anxiety & fear affecting my mental & physical health seriously.... The council are in full knowledge of all of this with letters from my doctor & the autism service scanned & sent to all the relevant departments with my housing solicitor copied in, But to avoid an expensive disrepair case for this unsuitable property the council choose to bypass our bids on suitable properties in suitable areas even when their bidding system has us ending 1st, & They are trying to force us somewhere I wouldn't live if they paid us....

    I feel they are in full knowledge of the facts & are spiteful Nasty people, Truly no good in their souls, & It's taking more than I'm able to fight this with little to no help, But I will never stop looking for a discrimination solicitor that accepts legal aid as our housing solicitor has advised it as he has witnessed the discrimination himself over the past year & has voiced his concerns, So I know it's not me overreacting now, Didn't think it was but my worker at the autism service said maybe I was misinterpreting the situations.......

    Oh well, The fight continues I guess...... There has to be an end to it someday, There are plenty of areas where we have friends, The people there are nice, & my anxieties wouldn't become an issue to my health..... "Dry land's not a myth, I've seen it!"  lol

    Sorry for the rant, going through a lot at the moment, & a few things you said left me thinking about the people I'm having to deal with, & the constant phone calls to try & find help that is rather elusive   

  • in reply to Kit McDaydream

    So well put and so true - It is only now I am diagnosed that I realised  it though. They are in a 'Rat Race'... If We try and fit in we are being fake and also masking which is discouraged as it leads to early death.