Social Disaster

I would concentrate on joining groups with a common interest of yours - like local history groups.   There will be others there with the same interests so you can talk about interesting things.    Odds are they've gravitated there because they feel the same as you so you'll all be in the same boat.       Talking about a common interest often means the subject is more important than the social graces so they are more forgiving of your mistakes.

See the problem I have with groups is that I am simply terrible in them - I get so anxious and either become so dominant or dead silent. I also get a bit paranoid of what people think of me and have a lot of agoraphobic tendencies - not a food mix right? I want to build confidence and join groups but it’s one of those classic vicious circles I can’t break. I lack self confidence at the best of times too as you can probably tell. 

I don't think there's anything too odd - but if you primarily try too hard with NTs, you will stick out.      I suspect special interest groups are likely to be full of undiagnosed aspies so you should be more comfortable.        And there's nothing wrong with sitting in silence until you can work out the rules of the group.

I run MeetUp groups - often just pub evenings or lunches and there's a whole range of people - some barely talk, some won't shut up!.       A good mix works fine - and a good host will direct the conversations to include everyone - so it's not all down to you.

I don't think there's anything too odd - but if you primarily try too hard with NTs, you will stick out.      I suspect special interest groups are likely to be full of undiagnosed aspies so you should be more comfortable.        And there's nothing wrong with sitting in silence until you can work out the rules of the group.

I run MeetUp groups - often just pub evenings or lunches and there's a whole range of people - some barely talk, some won't shut up!.       A good mix works fine - and a good host will direct the conversations to include everyone - so it's not all down to you.

If I can build the confidence to do something like that it sounds good, but self confidence is always a huge barrier for me the other issue is that whilst I live in a nice town (moved here a couple of months back), there isn’t much going on - it requires travelling to the bigger towns like Winchester or Basingstoke, and as I don’t drive, that in itself can be problematic. I do seem to click better with others on the spectrum, there are of course exceptions to this.