How I wish my childhood could have been

Hi Roswell

sorry to hear about your childhood.  I had a father who was probably autistic himself.  He could do a lot of things, he was great at all sports and good with DIY and gardening, but he never taught us to do them or let us help, because his need for control and perfection was so strong that he couldn't bear an "apprentice" doing a less than perfect job. 

I don't think he was happy.  He was obsessed by perfection and he pushed everyone else away until he died. Somehow it made me determined to do all those things.  Today I am doing some of them- fixing the house, growing things in the garden.  I do them a bit differently - for example I use more colours, patterns and design, whereas he was just planting things in perfect rows and painting everything perfectly but white.  

I have always been rubbish at sport and I used to be angry that my father never encouraged me or helped. I just became fat.   But now I go running every day. It's not a sport but I am fitter than ever. 

So, I hope you can think of some things where you came out of your dad's shadow, succeeded despite him and where you can do something better or with a different flair to his. 

Some of us here are into gardening, I am in no way an expert because I work full time and I've moved to an area where  it's colder and windier than before and there's different soil. So I have a lot to learn. We can give you tips here in the forum! I would be glad to share some. I'm no good with cars, though. 

Good on you for self-teaching yourself gardening. 

I would like to pick the brains here about one thing. If I buy some herbs in a plant pot like they sell in supermarkets, how do I make sure the plant stays alive?

Main things I'm wondering - where to place it in my flat, what water and food it needs.

it depends on the herb and whether you have a balcony or a windowsill. Sunlight and warmth is best for nearly all herbs.

Basil - very thirsty- water every day

Sage,Thyme ,Oregano, mint - good "investments" to keep. They can tolerate a lot more dryness but like sunny conditions. Rosemary too, after a bit of care at the beginning it can last a long while.  These are "woody" herbs that last longer. 

Parsely* , Coriander - i tend to kill these - needs warm temperature and a windowsill, but tends to go floppy because they are over-seeded.  However, if you use all the parsely and coriander leaves soon after buying, keep watering the plant because a new set of stalks and leaves will  probably come.   Coriander is short lived and starts producing flowers eventually .

All the above can survive in the pot from the supermarket but will quickly run out of energy because many seeds have been planted in one small pot. So, even if they are not thirsty, they may die of starvation. Often they are growing in a mixture that has hardly any nutrients.   if you have a  bag of general compost  and a larger pot, re-pot the herb for it to live longer. Put a little soil in the bottom of the new pot, the plant plug on top, then if you don't like touching soil use a sheet of newspaper as a funnel to steer a bit of compost around the plant. Firm it down and water it.

For basil i keep it near the sink because it simply needs a lot of water. I started growing it from seed as i realised it was easy.

The other herbs only need watering when the soil is getting dry. 

In the summer I water all my house plants with some general purpose feed , so i give some to the herbs as well.  I do this every 3 weeks.  A tiny bottle of liquid feed has lasted 4 years already.  It is not really necessary to buy plant food, though.  The food is in the soil, so re-potting is good enough. 

The plants should not be waterlogged.  if you stand the pot on a saucer, and after watering the saucer is full of water,  the plant has got enough, so you can pour off the excess from the saucer.  You will get used to giving them just the right amount over time. 

*For parsely, if you only need the chopped up kind, you can freeze the chopped leaves (or buy it frozen).   

Another thing you can do is give every plant 2 chances. If it's a decent size,and multiple stalks are coming out of the soil, you can take out the plug of plant and roots, cut it in half vertically with a sharp knife in one clean quick cut, so you have 2 skinny plants. Re pot them as before. Then if one of them dies, you have the other. If it has only one main stall such as rosemary, it's not suitable. Bonus outcome is two lovely plants! 

Another thing you can do is give every plant 2 chances. If it's a decent size,and multiple stalks are coming out of the soil, you can take out the plug of plant and roots, cut it in half vertically with a sharp knife in one clean quick cut, so you have 2 skinny plants. Re pot them as before. Then if one of them dies, you have the other. If it has only one main stall such as rosemary, it's not suitable. Bonus outcome is two lovely plants!