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How I wish my childhood could have been

Roswell

Looking back I wish my dad would have taught me how to garden and fix cars and do DIY jobs. 

He encouraged me to read heavy books so I became an avid reader and I'm glad about that but I would have like a more well-rounded education too.

I think he assumed I couldn't learn stuff because of my Autism.

It's too late to change things now. Just a note to any parents out there with Autistic children. Try to give them a chance to learn things, even if they learn at a different pace or in a different way.

Parents

  • Hi Roswell

    sorry to hear about your childhood.  I had a father who was probably autistic himself.  He could do a lot of things, he was great at all sports and good with DIY and gardening, but he never taught us to do them or let us help, because his need for control and perfection was so strong that he couldn't bear an "apprentice" doing a less than perfect job. 

    I don't think he was happy.  He was obsessed by perfection and he pushed everyone else away until he died. Somehow it made me determined to do all those things.  Today I am doing some of them- fixing the house, growing things in the garden.  I do them a bit differently - for example I use more colours, patterns and design, whereas he was just planting things in perfect rows and painting everything perfectly but white.  

    I have always been rubbish at sport and I used to be angry that my father never encouraged me or helped. I just became fat.   But now I go running every day. It's not a sport but I am fitter than ever. 

    So, I hope you can think of some things where you came out of your dad's shadow, succeeded despite him and where you can do something better or with a different flair to his. 

    Some of us here are into gardening, I am in no way an expert because I work full time and I've moved to an area where  it's colder and windier than before and there's different soil. So I have a lot to learn. We can give you tips here in the forum! I would be glad to share some. I'm no good with cars, though. 

Reply

  • Hi Roswell

    sorry to hear about your childhood.  I had a father who was probably autistic himself.  He could do a lot of things, he was great at all sports and good with DIY and gardening, but he never taught us to do them or let us help, because his need for control and perfection was so strong that he couldn't bear an "apprentice" doing a less than perfect job. 

    I don't think he was happy.  He was obsessed by perfection and he pushed everyone else away until he died. Somehow it made me determined to do all those things.  Today I am doing some of them- fixing the house, growing things in the garden.  I do them a bit differently - for example I use more colours, patterns and design, whereas he was just planting things in perfect rows and painting everything perfectly but white.  

    I have always been rubbish at sport and I used to be angry that my father never encouraged me or helped. I just became fat.   But now I go running every day. It's not a sport but I am fitter than ever. 

    So, I hope you can think of some things where you came out of your dad's shadow, succeeded despite him and where you can do something better or with a different flair to his. 

    Some of us here are into gardening, I am in no way an expert because I work full time and I've moved to an area where  it's colder and windier than before and there's different soil. So I have a lot to learn. We can give you tips here in the forum! I would be glad to share some. I'm no good with cars, though. 

Children
  • in reply to Plectrum

    Good on you for self-teaching yourself gardening. 

    I would like to pick the brains here about one thing. If I buy some herbs in a plant pot like they sell in supermarkets, how do I make sure the plant stays alive?

    Main things I'm wondering - where to place it in my flat, what water and food it needs.