Accepting ASD

Hey, I wasn't diagnosed until my mid-teens (a year ago) and it took me some time to accept my diagnosis and realize that they are both positives and negatives to being autistic. I also really struggle with social situations and it causes me quite a lot of anxiety. It really helps me to have sensory items/toys and teddy bears with me when I go out. I like to sometimes research conversation starters to help me know what to say in conversations. What social situations do you specifically struggle with as this would help to give some more clear advice?

It is a big decision because once done can’t be undone. I got the diagnosis because I wanted support at work but didn’t get it either from my manager. Although my new manager is positive about it as her nieces are also aspie so that’s been really helpful she can see the benefits. I may be wrong you know about the diagnosis being the barrier as I am very open about my faith at work and that could easily be the barrier as well. Joining this community has already helped me feel better about it all, reading that there are so many of you that experience what I experience. Turns out I am not so alien and alone after all. Thanks for that

I still can’t decide if I should disclose to my coworkers. My employer knows already and his attitude didn’t change (at least I didn’t notice any change). But I didn’t get any help from him either so every now and then I’m considering disclosing to my coworkers in hope to improve our communication. I’m already not fitting in and don’t feel included but I’m worried about how they could change their attitude towards me (I know they would talk behind my back but I’m pretty sure they are already talking about me because they are gossiping quite a lot) But then, maybe it’s better to be open about it? To challenge stereotypes? I don’t know. But I keep thinking about it. Frequently.

O my goodness I can’t believe I am reading these posts I was just about to ask if anyone had felt regret about sharing their their diagnosis and I find all you lovely people being so honest. I have felt so alone about being an aspie and am finding this community so helpful thank you everybody. I joined day before yesterday I think. Anyway I got diagnosed a year ago (very late diagnosis I am early 50s but still feel about 10) and disclosed to some people who may have been friends and at work and their reactions  made me feel ashamed of being an aspie. Then that made me feel worse  because I actually like myself, I care about people and always try to be kind and would much rather be like that than like the NT people have been towards me .   People changed towards me after I had told them, didn’t treat me with the same regard somehow if that makes sense. So I would say to people get diagnosed because it’s like I have been looking to understand myself all my life and now I make sense to myself. Which is good and healing and explains my life the bits that always puzzled me, missing jigsaw pieces have been found and put in their place which is lovely. But I am even more isolated I think now at work. So get diagnosed but be careful who you share it with, protect yourself is my advice. 

I have been mulling over the same problem today and intermittently over some years and wondered if anyone had any apps/online tools that they had found helpful.

The thing I find most difficult is that I want to be able to function well particularly in the workplace without disclosing my diagnosis. I just don't fit in. Some of the time this is okay. But challenging the negative thoughts that I'm always saying the wrong thing and always not saying the right thing and that I am never going to fit in, has got me down today.

I know that your post is from 3 months ago, so there might be more recent updates, if so could you let me know too.

Thanks,

Mrs Snooks

I went to my GP and asked about getting diagnosed. In my area the Local Primary Mental Health Support Service triages all such requests and then arranges the formal diagnosis with a Psychiatrist. Process took me about 7 months.

As for whether it's worth it, only you can answer that as self-diagnosis is perfectly acceptable. However, in my case, I decided I needed a formal diagnosis for my own peace of mind and to have tangible evidence to take to my family and employer ( when requesting reasonable adjustments). So for me it was worth it

More information on diagnosis is available on this site and can be found here :

https://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis.aspx

Ty for your response! I know the advantages of being autistic. But I just struggle with having it myself and how it affects my communication.

Great ty! I'll have a look at it. How did you go about getting diagnosed? I'm tempted to do it but I'm not sure 1) how to do it and 2) is it worth getting it done.

Hi,

I was diagnosed with ASD last year and I'm still trying to come to terms with what that means to me. I did find the book Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome (Autistic Spectrum Disorder): How Seeking a Diagnosis in Adulthood Can Change Your Life by Philip Wylie very useful.

Do you mean this kind of thing?

https://autismawarenesscentre.com/the-positives-of-autism/