Struggling with being on the spectrum

Hello all; I’m 21 years old and I’m on the spectrum. Last two years I’ve been struggling to deal with myself and my behaviour has gotten really bad, I’ve started to get really aggressive and defensive over it and I can’t keep control of myself during difficult times and places. I’m reaching out for some help as I can’t carry on the way I’m going. I feel the label of Autism is taking over my life when I should embrace it and not let it get in the way of everyday life. I need to take action to improve my wellbeing and overall happiness, what steps should I take to move forward?

  • Here's one about limitations /adaptations.. Which many therapists don't do https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6150418/

    And if you Google acceptance and commitment therapy that is what ive been told I can get. I havent decided yet. Hope that's OK. I'm a bit tired now Grin

  • I will try and find the info I was given and get back to you. I can't remember if it was verbal, with a psychologist, or digital. 

  • Never heard anything about it not working before. Do you know anything about why they think that is or where it came from? Would like to look into this.

  • I'd heard the same thing from other people, but it definitely worked in my case. I'm glad I was able to help and I'd definitely recommend looking into it - anything that has the potential to improve your mental health is worth a try. I hope you're able to get some support and find it helpful.

  • Wow, thanks for this Duckbread. I had believed 'experts' telling me that cbt doesn't work for auties and we have to use acceptance and commitment therapy instead.  This says otherwise, very powerfully indeed. Even though all cases are anecdotal / individual. But just for personal interest I plan to look into it too. I'm pretty stuck with obsessions. 

  • The CBT helped me to change my patterns of thinking so that I no longer believed the OCD fears and didn't have to follow-through with my compulsive behaviours. I went through exposure and response prevention therapy (ERPT) as part of the CBT, and that helped me to desensitise me to the things that used to cause me a huge deal of distress. At the start of my therapy, I was able to fill several pages of A4 with a list of my OCD routines, but I've now managed to stop doing them. I still occasionally get intrusive thoughts and sometimes catch myself trying to neutralise them (e.g. with thoughts or routines), but this is very rare now and I know how to deal with it. I've only been out of therapy for 2 months, but in OCD terms, it's been incredibly successful and I haven't relapsed so far.

    I'm still struggling with depression and anxiety, so I'm going to tackle those next, but OCD was absolutely taking over my life and CBT put a stop to that.

  • One last chance !....Did you not say " do not go to a therapist for mindfulness....but rather go to a qualified buddhist"?

    So youre advising vulnerable people, to  not go to a therapist...how are you even qualifed to advise this?

  • How is a therapist teaching mindfulness the same as fixing a computer/'?    its completely in their capability and is on the nhs...but once again...you tell people to not go to a therapist but go to a buudhist...

    Now what if there are vulnerable autistic people believing this and they suddenly do as youre told...?

    it beggars belief that you cannot see the error in your advice...and youre not qualified even to give such advise...hence why NAS are keeping an eye on you.

  • In your video..you clearly state to not go to a therapist rather go to a buddhist....the nhs provide valuable help to those in need, ie mindfulness.....and you clearly state in your video to not do this.,.

    NAS have removed your YT links....

  • I assume this is reference to learning from a qualified person. I wouldn't ask my doctor to fix my computer either, does not mean I'm leaving my doctor.

  • Hi there. I'm a self-diagnosed aspie woman and i would like to share with you 2 guidelines i use every single day...

    First one, catastrofising is our autism showing up. I keep telling myself "it's ok, this fears are only due to my autism".

    Second one, "go, never give up, try again, don't victimize youself, go out, you can do it, the world is ours too,"

    It's not easy but it's possible.

  • How did the cbt help you?  is it something thats useful for a long time?....

  • Important question is why.

    After a few close calls I've concluded being in environments where I'm expected to function as a neurotypical for more then a couple of hours I become unstable and a danger to those around me. Hence my name here and related project helping other's establish ways of working from an environment they can control.

    Early days in this, but if it does interest you this is my youtube channel.

    (Link removed by moderator - Community rule 2 - not to post personal identifiying details which includes social media links) 

    Edited by Moderator

  • Are you an extrovert and have a desire for a lot of social contact?

    I'm an introvert so have less interest in group socialising and much prefer spending time in my own company or doing quiet activities. The few friends I have I socialise with only on an occasional basis. 

  • Perhaps reflect on how you use your time and how the activities/environments/people impact on your mood? 

    What brings you a sense of enjoyment and which activities drain or leave you feeling sad and low?  

    Ditch the things that you don't enjoy and focus your energy on following the interests that you do. 

    To practise (and explore) showing your true self, joining an improv stand-up comedy course could be a fun way to test out aspects of your authentic self in a safe environment. 

  • I’ve always tried to fit in which is really hard and people think I’m weird on some occasions rather than me being myself and embracing the spectrum. It’s difficult to stop masking it up as I see it as being not normal and people take the p*ss. How do I stop masking it up? 

  • Be kind to yourself and give your self permission to live authentically as an autistic person as much as you can. Living authentically is linked to good mental health and wellbeing as is having meaning and purpose in life. 

    Masking is linked to poor mental health. 

    I'm also wondering if there is a local Asperger's / autism group in your area where you may meet other people around your age where you could learn from people who have been through similar transitional challenges(?).