Hello all; I’m 21 years old and I’m on the spectrum. Last two years I’ve been struggling to deal with myself and my behaviour has gotten really bad, I’ve started to get really aggressive and defensive over it and I can’t keep control of myself during difficult times and places. I’m reaching out for some help as I can’t carry on the way I’m going. I feel the label of Autism is taking over my life when I should embrace it and not let it get in the way of everyday life. I need to take action to improve my wellbeing and overall happiness, what steps should I take to move forward?
Hi - I'm sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment.
Have you been formally diagnosed as autistic? I'm 25 and decided to get myself on the waiting list, as I feel I need some autism-specific support with certain aspects of my life.
It might also be worth trying to get some support with your mental health. I self-referred to my local NHS mental health service and they were hugely helpful to me. I went through cognitive behavioural therapy for OCD, but I'd had some support with anxiety prior to that.
Like Duckbread says, go for a formal diagnosis. There is a lot of stuff to learn about autism (I have been reading up on it for years and am still finding out things). What you probably need to do is to find out ways to avoid difficult situations and to deal with them better when you encounter them. There are ways and means to deal with both. If you can feel yourself getting anxious or worried, sometimes breathing exercises can help. You may need to experiment with the type of breathing exercise that works for you, but it is a good way to deal with stress. I tend to find slow, regular deep breaths help me, and my mood when I need it. You can do this just about anywhere.
I’ve been diagnosed and I’m on the spectrum, diagnosed at age 4. My mental well being isn’t very good been struggling last couple of years with different events in my life and trying to prove to everyone that I can do what “normal” do day to day which sometimes I can’t which stresses me out and makes me angry
Thank you, I will try this and will start to do research.
It's really tough when you're struggling with your mental health. Hope you find some of the suggestions here helpful and that you feel better soon.
Be kind to yourself and give your self permission to live authentically as an autistic person as much as you can. Living authentically is linked to good mental health and wellbeing as is having meaning and purpose in life.
Masking is linked to poor mental health.
I'm also wondering if there is a local Asperger's / autism group in your area where you may meet other people around your age where you could learn from people who have been through similar transitional challenges(?).
I’ve always tried to fit in which is really hard and people think I’m weird on some occasions rather than me being myself and embracing the spectrum. It’s difficult to stop masking it up as I see it as being not normal and people take the p*ss. How do I stop masking it up?
Perhaps reflect on how you use your time and how the activities/environments/people impact on your mood?
What brings you a sense of enjoyment and which activities drain or leave you feeling sad and low?
Ditch the things that you don't enjoy and focus your energy on following the interests that you do.
To practise (and explore) showing your true self, joining an improv stand-up comedy course could be a fun way to test out aspects of your authentic self in a safe environment.
Are you an extrovert and have a desire for a lot of social contact?
I'm an introvert so have less interest in group socialising and much prefer spending time in my own company or doing quiet activities. The few friends I have I socialise with only on an occasional basis.
Important question is why.
After a few close calls I've concluded being in environments where I'm expected to function as a neurotypical for more then a couple of hours I become unstable and a danger to those around me. Hence my name here and related project helping other's establish ways of working from an environment they can control.
Early days in this, but if it does interest you this is my youtube channel.
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