I find it's enviable that I become the Enemy,
This last three months I seem to have upset 5 people all without trying all I do is go to work and do the work in the proper way and return home,
thier is someone I believe who is upset with me because I haven't said good morning which to be honest I feel odd going out of my way to say this plus they haven't gone out of there way to do the same?
One person who has effectively ruined my day because they took my desk
another who is fundamental lazy and when asked to do one of the requirements of her job she didn't want to so I highlighted it with my manager.
Someone else who keeps calling me the man but it's in a way to condescend and I don't know how to respond, so I just smile this is starting to piss me off actually.
And on and on.
This is normally how I enter my depression and then have a breakdown then quit my job I hate this cycle, does anyone else experience this cycle?
Hey :) It sounds like you feel that disappointment quite strongly, I know several people in this position. In life, there are always going to be people that you upset or don't like you - it's natural when so many of us interact each day! Personally, I think it's best if you can learn to go easy on yourself. You're definitely not 'the enemy' - if you are, then so is everyone else, we've all upset people in our lives. Go easy on yourself - apologise where you've made a mistake, ignore when someone is causing a problem for no reason, and break that cycle!x
Greetings K... glad to reply to You again. I agree with as RSxo says as well. Just do what You do, and give no-one any reasons to "complain" about You.
If You are curious about certain persons, or if they are *reeeealy* getting You down, You might try simply telling them the reasons for doing so (<> as You write here) --- yet make certain to stay polite and calm. This begins the process of sorting out who is truly a "jerk" and who is truly trying to be nice to You. Good people are worth going out of the way for, to give a "wave" or a Greeting, and from then sharing thoughts or reasons for discomfort (<> as You write here).
...In life, there are persons who are *deliberate* "Jerks"... so when confronted in a polite calm argument, they *will* always reveal themselves, and so a lesson is learnt to not provoke such persons. All in all, just be Yourself, do not get upset (walk away) and keep everything that happens in mind or in a Diary (as if for evidence).
Stay calm, Always be polite/reasonable, be Yourself... and "Don't let the man get you down", as they say... (!)
Sorry to hear this!
I do so hate it when people get upset with me and fail to explain why!
I also hate the expectation to greet various people in certain ways. I’m quite sure that there’s a social rule book that I’ve never seen that sets out exactly how and when you should greet various different people such as colleagues, boss, neighbors etc.
Why has someone taken your desk?
Lazy people are annoying. Has the manager got them to buck their ideas up yet?
Is there anyone at work who could help you with any of this?
Thank you both.
You both are right, normally I just smile and carry on as I never truly feel I know if I'm wrong or right in anything.
I try just to stay out of the way and complete my goals, perhaps I should make an effort to say hello in the mornings it's not a bad thing.
I really do try not to draw attention to myself to avoid embarrassment last Thursday I was told that the Friday was dress down day to commemorate brexit and we are to wear red white and blue.... So the next day I came in as instructed and I was shocked to see no-one in dress down apparently it was a joke and they didn't expect me not to realise.
So I'm avoiding attention maybe more than I should.
They took my desk so they could sit and talk all day with her friend but she spent half the day away from the desk and left all her stuff a mess on top like a tip.
The boss did have a word with the lazy person but I think that's why she's angry with me.
But I'm going to try not to get upset maybe I will stay positive.
And no one will help but that's okay because I don't want people to know I'm autistic as it always end in me getting fired or tormented until I quit.
Me again... Thanks in return.
K said:I try just to stay out of the way and complete my goals, perhaps I should make an effort to say hello in the mornings it's not a bad thing
K said:I really do try not to draw attention to myself to avoid embarrassment
...Both of these are ME as well! Sometimes it is a great effort just to say "Hello", seriously. Myself, I *do* make a point of a wave or the Peace-sign a lot. But I keep My head and eyes down (like a beaten dog??) if having to pass whom I said before as "Jerks".
I strongly meant what I said before about learning about who is good and who is not. They really do give themselves away, and keeping a Diary might help to deal with when it might turn rather insidious... or maybe I should stop writing now because I am getting too focussed upon 'negatives'...? Learn the Lay Of The Land, including People and Emotions, is all I can keep saying... honest ! Good Fortune!
...This is all just "LIFE" (dealing with Allistic People). We sympathise with You, here so far. You might also need to find something like a Meditation to get You through whenever things are about to become overwhelming.
...But not declaring Autism, I can understand the doing of this yet have no advice to give about it. Sorry... really... (I am just one of those that says that first of all since it would be provoked/found out anyway.) Good Fortune To You, again from Me.
This is exactly why I'm experimenting with going off and doing my own thing.
Will do, I think your right I need to know my environment better and keeping a diary would be a help.
I hate it when people say you don't greet them, when they never do the same. It's a two way process. If they tell you this, then point out they are just the same.