At what stage should i tell employer (advice needed)

"...ive tried hard to improve and cover my communication issues but i just cant maintain the amount of effort it takes for more than a year i just hit a wall and burn out..."

 I have felt the same way over many years of trying to find the right job.  Each one, after a couple of years, I would have to leave, usually (with hindsight) through internal fear that they would get to know the real me and not like me.  It's only been the last few years I have recognised this cycle, and I'm trying to rectify it but without much success.  I feel like I'm running out of time in my working life as I'm 48.

I totally understand the communication issues and I find it much worse when you are inexperienced in a new job and don't have the knowledge and confidence to communicate effectively.I struggled answering the phone to people and being asked things that weren't even in my field. I hated the setup of a small office and don't know how I'd cope with phoning clients and speaking to them on the phone infront of everyone in the room. I'm pursuing something else just now so I'm not sure if I will be going back to a similar role or not

Thats rediculous! Im a designer too, and its absolutely up to the manager to set you work and train you, even if it was a quiet period they could be using the down time for training! (im training someone at the moment and make little tasks for him to learn from when we have quiet times)

Hope you managed to find somewhere better? 

I was actually made redundant from my 1st design job many years ago for 'communication issues' since then ive tried hard to improve and cover my communication issues but i just cant maintain the amount of effort it takes for more than a year i just hit a wall and burn out :( im tired of people saying they 'want the old me back' but its not really me, just a facade i put on for work. At the moment im swinging between the 2 me's if that makes sense, its so hard

My diagnosis came after losing my last job. The company said that I lost it due to them restructuring the business but I know for a fact that it was because of my struggles with social interaction. I was a trainee design engineer at a company and they had absolutely no time for me to show me what to do. I would ask if I had any work to do and would be told "I'll be with you in a minute" then sit like an idiot with nothing to do. After a while I got fed up of looking stupid asking for work to do infront of others in the room and gave up, then they told me off for doing nothing. I was supposed to be a trainee and they were supposed to be the ones managing me in my opinion. They clearly knew that I didn't have anything to do but I got the blame for it

Omg that sounds awful! I dont blame you for not disclosing after that experience! Sorry you had to go through all that

Im finding with my current diagnosis (GAD) that people dont really take it seriously and just expect you to snap out of it or miraculously recover after a few months, hence why i havent told anyone other than my line manager. It sounds like an asd diagnosis isnt much better in terms of employment protection :(

• Thanks for this, this pretty much confirms my thinking. I think my therapist was trying to reassure me that asd would be treated more seriously than GAD, but im reluctant to disclose without having a full answer. I would feel kind of a fraud using asd as an explanation for my problems when im not diagnosed yet

I would certainly not mention it until you have confirmation of the diagnosis and then after that it is up to you if you want to mention it. It's hard to say if it would be a bad or good thing as people seem to have different experiences and although on paper employers are supposed to cater for MH issues it may not be the case in reality

I have experienced disclosing my diagnosis to my boss so I will divulge my experience for you. 

I was working in a customer facing role a greet and meet I was very good at this I knew my role, I was also supposed to be trained on the till but for months no one bothered  this is where it goes pear-shaped,

The old boss left enter new boss 

I was told I have two weeks till training never sat on a till In my life!

Training was just do the job ie no training this was impossible for me therefore I disclosed. 

The boss said its part of the job and I need to be on the till so I'll be sent to another branch to learn the till "a quiet branch".

I was sent there and not trained instead put on a performance improvement plan.

They had lyxit come out to do the assessment wich I was told by an aspire that it was there was of covering their asses before they fired me I thought he was exaggerating, turns out he was not. 

Keep that in mind because with lyxit and a third party my pip was made 

One of the rulse of the pip was that I had to keep eye contact with customers and lots more like this that hit right at my condition.

Every day they bombarded me with all the thing I had done wrong  and then interrogated me asking if I thought it was fair on my colleagues that I worked there asking if I thought I was good at my job so on,

this was all in writing to and they made me sign it.

I still have the papers because I took photos on my phone when I asked if I could have time to read them before I signed even though I said I didn't want to and felt uncomfortable plus they disclosed my condition to other colleagues without asking or telling me. 

I begged for training and I was told there wasn't sufficient staff to train me then I asked if I could be trained at another branch which I was piont blanch told No. 

The harassment became so bad I had a nervous breakdown and quite but not before ringing my union which did nothing plus lyxit because they told my if this sort of thing happened they would help they did not I rang every one I could to help me and no one helped me and it has cause me serious anxiety issues and I believe has damaged me for life. 

Somehow I don't feel like I have explained how much I suffered because of this but I have never disclosed again. Plus in a later job I had colleagues tell me they would kill themselves if they had autism so that's my experience.