Struggling :(

This is exactly how I feel.  I also feel like I'm regressing and I don't know what to do about it.  I'm terrified.

Hay

NAS36519 said:

I find things overwhelming and can't cope. I am struggling to talk to people. I am messing up everywhere. I feel my GP can't cope with me. I have gone awol from my NHS counselling. I keep breaking down when phoning businesses and the NHS. I think writing is my only comfort.

Hi Nas36519, 

I think you need to talk to someone not as a Councillor but someone who gets what it's like to constantly feel overwhelmed, it might not get you out of a hole but it will let you know your not alone.

I also feel like you when I go to the G.P's I always come out feeling patronised and dismissed and talking to people always leave me regretting the whole thing. 

When I was young I would spend months in bed depressed and didn't want to leave my room because of how people made me feel.

But although I question people's actions and thoughts I never judge them or have negative thoughts about people that's the only good thing about being treated like sh1t is knowing how to be kind to others.

Hello Marisere,

                          Sorry to intrude, I have only just come on here for the first time and noticed your 7 day old post.  I have Asperger's Syndrome, and I am a member. But I haven't been on the site since I last joined NAS. I find things overwhelming and can't cope. I am struggling to talk to people. I am messing up everywhere. I feel my GP can't cope with me. I have gone awol from my NHS counselling. I keep breaking down when phoning businesses and the NHS. I think writing is my only comfort.

                           You are not a failure. It  just feel that way when everything gets on top.  Your mental health team and your friend are letting you down. I hope you are feeling stronger since posting on here. I try to keep myself busy. But still manage to get myself in trouble. As I told my Autism counsellor, I am at war daily here. Having to deal with ignorance and just ill manners daily. I hope you have had a good cry to release how you are feeling. I have a bigger size cuddly teddy a cuddle for comfort. I know my mother sees me as a let down, ever since I left my job due to a breakdown. She doesn't accept that I have Autism. She told me it is not a real condition. She really upset me. I got myself diagnosed in later life.   But like me nobody took any notice as children. Just put it down as bad behaviour from a naughty child. I may have aged but I am still the same young person. Just very tired of fighting to be understood. I suffer from bad brain fog daily. and my speech can go hiwire at times, including strutting.

i'm sorry you're feeling bad. I find crying helpful (sometimes). I think it actually releases chemicals which soothe our brain. I have a specific film I watch which makes me cry and I make myself warm and cosy to watch it. This only works when I'm in a specific point on the scale of upset though so may not be helpful. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you are doing the best you can. You are definitely not a failure even if you feel like you are. 

I'm very sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I find that when I'm feeling upset and stressed, the more I try to avoid it the worse it gets. Personally I feel better after I let go. As in, I go to a room on my own, in the dark, and I cry, I let it out. I allow myself to be miserable. If of course you think it would be worse than that and you really want to avoid it then I can understand how frustrating it must feel to be reaching out to people and not get the support you're after. So hopefully people here can help.

Do you know what is causing the potential meltdown? Is it just all too much? Or is there something that we could help you with, talk you through?

Sorry you feel this way. Can you get any rest away from the world for a few days? It helps me so much if I can do this

Hope you're feeling a little better xxxx

I feel for you I get that, stumbling over your word can be embarrassing at times, 

I know it feels very intense people acutely listening to you speak, 

I avoid talking in big groups makes me so anxious even when I've said nothing wrong I still feel like I've said something stupid constantly assessing and rechecking.

but you know I've seen all my colleagues mess up their words and loose the point of what they were saying,

it's just human and your most seriously your not the only one.

I just take a deep breath and say F**k it!

and then picture how it will mean nothing in 10 years and that time is infinite and that moment has passed. 

Sorry to jump in, just wanted to say I am not autistic myself (my son is) however I have fibromyalgia and when I flare up I struggle to get the right words out too and can understand your frustration! I can sometimes say the wrong word or stutter or just get so upset I give up on the word. There is nothing I have found to help apart, just finding away to accept that sometimes it happens and forgiving yourself! It’s okay to stumble just got to pick back up and try again! Please be kind to yourself! I get told that your doing your best, if you could do better you already would do so be kind to yourself :) 

Thank you thats so kind of you to offer. I think what upset me today is stumbling over my words, it happens quite often especially when Im not a hundred percent ok in myself. I just feel so stupid and embarrassed when I mix words up i hate talking most of the time. 

Thanks for your idea I decided expressing myself by writing was the right way to go but I really do like your idea too, I may try that tomorrow. Im definitely exhausted, will try a nap thank you for your message xxxxx

Thank you so much for your reply. Im distracting myself at mo until I feel a bit more recharged and ready to fight again. So glad I have here xxxx

When I have a meltdown, I know what all the things are that have made me overload, I have to start at the beginning and talk through each of my worries.

It's like unpicking knots which I like to do from time to time ha, So if your comfortable Start at the beginning and I'll go through it with you, totally up to you thou. 

A cry can be what's needed if you can have it in the right time and space.  Is there something you can touch or look at that is soothing or comforting? Sometimes if I'm down I don't realise I'm  exhausted and need to rest my eyes. Sometimes I draw a little stick-man cartoon depicting how I feel when words fail. 

Sorry I'm a bit empty for ideas, that was all I could think of. 

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. I really hate the build-up to a meltdown. Your friend's comment isn't helpful - life isn't a competition, so I'm not sure why she felt the need to suggest her life is harder than yours. We all go through our own challenges.

Having a cry can be helpful sometimes. If you can get yourself somewhere comfortable and try to do something relaxing (e.g. watching a film you love or reading a good book), that might help you feel a little better.

Like RSxo said, we're all here for you.

Thank you xxxx 

Hey :) 

Sorry to hear what you're going through - we're all here with you, rain or shinex

Much love <3