Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone, was wondering if I can toggle your brains again. My partner is still waiting for therapy which is getting quite tough for us both now. I’m interested to hear your input on the situation of being fixated on something. A subject or multiple subjects at once, brain overload. My partner and I are able to live quite a normal life. We get by and adapt where possible. I think we are doing well considering the lack of help we’ve had. There’s one thing we really struggle with, it’s him being fixated on something/things. If I ask him to do something he might forget straight after because his mind is blocked by things; he said explains it to me as his brain being fixated on anything and everything and he can’t get past it. I can get past the daily tasks etc that don’t get done, but sometimes (even though I know the reasons and support him) I end up getting upset because I feel unwanted and initiate things more than him, he says the thoughts and feelings are there but his mind is fixated on other things and doesn’t let him get to the other stuff. This might be a long shot, and I’m not looking to change him at all, I just want to know if there’s anything we/ he himself can do to intervene these distractions? Or do I just get used to being the one that’s more affectionate and initiating things in the relationship?
I would love to be able to switch my obsessions off and on - would make life so much easier. For me the problem is that the obsession goes straight to the top of my priority list and stays there. So if the bathroom ceiling needs painting, it suddenly seems unimportant compared to reading up on X. I know logically that I have jobs to complete but physically doing them becomes almost impossible.
I'm sure it drives my husband insane. Sometimes I appreciate a certain level of "nagging" as it gets me moving, but it needs to be said in a motivational rather than judging way. So sometimes he will say "do you want me to fill in that form for you?" and that encourages me to get started on it as it's not fair for him to do it.
It might sound very odd to someone who doesn't think like this, but most Autistic people find it very soothing to think (or say or do) about the same thing repeatedly, over and over, on loop. It's like a form of therapy for us, some calm in the midst of a stressful world. We also HATE it if we're 'in the zone' and someone interrupts us! I realise that this answer might not help as such but I'm just trying to help you understand.
Just found this on the website, sounds very much like what I’m trying to get across to you. So my overall worry is, is it possible to train the brain to not think of these obsessions when not relevant? Sounds like a lot to ask I know, and it may sounds horrible but I promise that is not my intent. We both just don’t like how it takes over.