How do you guys cope with social media?

ive stopped using it full stop, always just made me feel even more isolated, just feels like people use it as a human zoo to "friend" they're exhibits and feel important, ive never got on well with it.

its all very shallow and pretentious to me, loudest mouths get listened to, people only care about themselves stuff, i dunno, just not for me i suppose

I have a locked Twitter account where I have a little group of online friends and then an open one which is mostly for following famous or interesting people. I find it too depressing to post something and get no response so I don't post much on the latter.

I got an insta account just for being nosey but find the comments baffling. Thousands of people all just posting a heart or trying to publicise themselves. 

I think you would be better starting a blog or writing for a site doing articles then promoting them with posters or on forums like this than using social media

Like Plastic I don't use social media anymore. life is so much simpler. ive never understood how people have the time or spend the time posting about their lives in a lie a fake way and posting all these photos showing how they look when they could be spending the time sorting their lives working on their dreams loving caring living life seeing the sunrise sunset getting out in anture meditiating seeing the world rather than looking on a screen or trying to impress fake friends with a lie

my life is so much better without it will never go back xx

Hi Uncertain, I'm on Facebook and I LOVE it.  I'm interested in nature and do quite a bit of hiking - when the weather behaves!!  I often take photos on walks and exhibit them on Facebook - Facebook is my 'art gallery'.  When used responsibly, social media can be very enjoyable.

Facebook does sometimes bring me work and even the occasional sale of some artwork, however indirectly; it keeps Kevin touch with my contacts. A few of my relatives are on it too, cousins, a niece....not much in the way of communication though. I would like to be able to clinch the marketing formula that will bring me evenire art sales.

Badly is the short answer.

Like you, I have a creative side and I wanted to engage with others by sharing thoughts, writing, artwork, photography etc. I got into Facebook around 2008, then Twitter around 2014, and have dabbled in Instagram occasionally. What I *eventually* learned though is:

• I got addicted to tracking how many likes / shares / retweets I got
• I wasn't particularly interested in reading other people's profiles, just wanted everyone to look at mine
• I got obsessed on Facebook with "curating" my friends into groups, and as a whole group (so got stressed about who I should be friends with and had several unfriend/re-friend cycles which were unfair to the other person)
• I flirted too much, too often
• I read too much into likes from celebrities
• I couldn't (and still can't) bear rejection and my anxiety went through the roof if anyone disagreed with me let alone went ad hominem on me

Eventually I concluded that, for me, the advantages weren't worth all of the above, so I deleted Facebook and then Twitter shortly afterwards.

I honestly haven't looked back, except to be pleased myself for with realising the points above and taking positive action.

It means that I miss out on some conversations and sharing nowadays, but I can live with that.

Nessie said:

I've not been able to get anything like the exposure I thought I could because I just don't know how to be popular and I don't have the energy to keep faking it.

And that's the thing - there's literally millions of people all trying to do the same thing - it's exhausting to keep on top of it and play the politics-game involved too - and that's something we're bad at in the first place!    I admire anyone who can make a name for themselves in that game.

My daughter is highly skilled at it - I think she's got about 100,000 followers - but she's not even in the first league!

And then going on to actually make money or forge a career from it is a massive job.

Good luck!

Nessie said:

I wouldn't say it's particularly changed my interactions with people in real life, more that I'm no longer surprised when they disappoint me.

I totally agree with this.

Uncertain said:

Since your diagnosis, how have you improved your social interactions with people in real life - in terms of understanding people/the world, in respect to situations, tone, processing comments and purpose?

I think the main thing I learned was that most people don't say what they mean and don't mean what they say. Also, they are capable of feeling more than one thing at once, whereas I am not.

I wouldn't say it's particularly changed my interactions with people in real life, more that I'm no longer surprised when they disappoint me.

Like Plastic, I've never bothered with social media due to the fake-ness of it all, and the fact I'm just not that interested in other people and don't have any friends to keep in touch with anyway.

However, back in August, I made my first ingress into the world of Twitter, but only for a very specific purpose. In response to all the news on climate change, I started a petition to Parliament to institute a new annual public holiday for planting trees, and thought Twitter would be an effective way to get the word out. I've picked up about 150 followers and a few hundred signatures for my petition, but I find it utterly exhausting to the point I've not really been on there for the last month or so. I see it as a tool for a specific purpose (i.e. promoting my petition), but beyond that I don't see myself ever using it.

I think your aim is admirable, but people are very fickle and there is a lot of nastiness on social media due to the anonymity of it all, especially in the artistic world where it is so very subjective. Whilst I did get some criticism from one person in particular on Twitter about how a tree bank holiday would never happen and how it wouldn't address climate change etc., I used the back and forth debate with him to really help clarify and hone my argument, and ended up writing an article on LinkedIn which addressed all the nay-sayers' counter arguments, and that article was well received. However, I've not been able to get anything like the exposure I thought I could because I just don't know how to be popular and I don't have the energy to keep faking it.

Hey, thanks everyone for your replies

I'm sad to hear that many of you simply avoid social media or don't engage with it at all.

My issue is that I've always wanted to be a writer/content creator and I want to be able to use a social platform to develop an audience and customer base - so getting to grips with it is pretty essential.

In a lot of ways, the issues I have most on there are the same social issues I have in real life, just in a different format - so maybe fixing that will help.

Since your diagnosis, how have you improved your social interactions with people in real life - in terms of understanding people/the world, in respect to situations, tone, processing comments and purpose?

Despite the fact my work consists of social media marketing, I actually struggle with social media! I have an Instagram where I post my art, which I think is good (sounds very biased, I know!) but I have barely any followers and get little likes on my posts. It's very frustrating! And I'm not willing to sell out by pretending to be friendly to people I don't care about. Twitter I find frustrating because there's genuinely funny stuff on it, but it can be so unpleasant. People just constantly bitching and moaning about anything and everything. Facebook, take it or leave it. I scroll through it 'cause it's good for finding events but I barely ever post on there. 

So yeah I totally get where you're coming from. It can be great, but I think it can have a negative effect on people, so regular breaks from it I think are a good idea. :) 

I'm using a simple fix for all my social media issues - I just don't do it.     no FB, no Twitter etc.    Also, most of it seems to be a bunch of fake people bragging about their fake lives to impress other fake people and then the social pressure to 'like' things that are rubbish for political reasons.    Nope - can't be arsed.  

Also - never get into a fight with an idiot on the internet - they can drag you down to their level where they can beat you with experience.