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I don't stim, but maybe I should start

Nessie

I've read a lot about how stimming is a common—almost universal—autistic behaviour, but it's not something I've ever done (to my knowledge). Depending on the situation, either I get quite OCD about cleaning and tidying everything around me (it has to be absolutely spotless and aligned perfectly parallel), or I self-harm, but I don't stim in the traditional sense (or maybe I'm misunderstanding the term).

Given that my education, career and general life keeps getting interrupted with stress-induced illnesses, I'm wondering if I need to find a suitable stim to help me cope in daily situations rather than holding everything in until I meltdown, shutdown or completely burnout.

  • Can you remember a time when you didn't stim? If so, when did you start and how did you settle on the stim you now use?
  • Or, have your stims changed over time? If so, why did you choose one in preference to another?

Any insights and advice welcome. Thanks.

  • Kitsune said:
    it’s not unheard of for me to scratch my head so much that it bleeds

    Yep. Also jaw clenching, digging nails in, tensing muscles, rubbing, leg bouncing, tapping, finger & thumb rubbing, different throat-clearing rhythms (which have to be right!), blinking hard, head nodding & shaking, pulling our hair, picking scabs etc etc etc 

  • I'm no expert, so I'm just offering thoughts (that said, I would imagine that between us all on this forum we are all probably the experts here, as I don't know of much research into the myriad types of stim and their benefits).

    I *think* I would agree with Kitsune that stims have probably been with you forever but potentially subconscious. However, if you find a new behaviour that helps your mental state / health, go for it!

    Nessie said:
    Given that my education, career and general life keeps getting interrupted with stress-induced illnesses

    I can relate to this, and my experience is that alexithymia made me think I was doing OK when I was actually dangerously stressed, and autism made me reactive to stressors that most people find neutral or even enjoyable. Not knowing about this led me to walk into the flames without the ability to feel pain until I noticed a funny smell and my skin going red. What I'm trying now, that seems to be working, in essence, is to give myself permission to say no. More detail here: https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/16793/understanding-yourself-how-autism-affects-you-my-autistic-charter

  • Hi.. I have always held my body in funny positions. Not sure if this would count as stimming but it provided me with the proprioceptive input I needed to help me regulate and calm my nervous system. For example I would bunch my arms up and flex my wrists (I looked like I was doing an impression of a T-Rex). I stopped that because it drew attention to me. I still in meetings and social gatherings press down on my chair and lift my body slightly..again to provide the proprioceptive input that helps me to calm. When I am by myself or with friends I will sit cross legged on the floor. 

    The other thing I do to help me calm and focus is doodle. I am pretty sensitive to visual input and when I'm in a busy or stressful situation I find this helps. I also find playing with a bit of blu-tac helpful. 

    Stimming I believe is largely our attempts to provide our nervous system with the sensory input it needs to regulate. A note of precaution though... I have observed in others that too much stimming can lead to too much alertness and then have the opposite effect. I have noticed this particularly for people that rock, spin or jump (seeking vestibular input). This over alertness is less noticeable in the other forms of stimming and they seem to have a positive effect on calming the nervous system. 

    I now build specific activities into my day which I know provide me with the input I need and as a result I don't seek it as much in situations where it is more difficult to get it or would draw attention to me. 

    Working out what sensory input calms you and then building in opportunities throughout your day to have a dose of the input you need might help. There is some useful information on the NAS website about sensory processing and occupational therapists can help (if you can get a referral to a sensory integration trained OT).

    Hope this is of some help. 

  • Personally, my ‘stims’ are things that I have always done, but didn’t used to realise that they were a stim, I just thought that they were odd habits. I hair pulled for years since I was a child, I’ve always head scratched too, if I’m going through a really stressful patch it’s not unheard of for me to scratch my head so much that it bleeds. Smelling random stuff is another odd habit that I’ve had since childhood. Another random thing which I do that I didn’t realise was a stim until recently, is when I cross my legs when I’m sitting down, sometimes I wrap my legs right around in a knot. I think, if you stim then it is probably something that you’ve always done. I’ve even read that chewing nails can be a stim.