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I don't stim, but maybe I should start

Nessie

I've read a lot about how stimming is a common—almost universal—autistic behaviour, but it's not something I've ever done (to my knowledge). Depending on the situation, either I get quite OCD about cleaning and tidying everything around me (it has to be absolutely spotless and aligned perfectly parallel), or I self-harm, but I don't stim in the traditional sense (or maybe I'm misunderstanding the term).

Given that my education, career and general life keeps getting interrupted with stress-induced illnesses, I'm wondering if I need to find a suitable stim to help me cope in daily situations rather than holding everything in until I meltdown, shutdown or completely burnout.

  • Can you remember a time when you didn't stim? If so, when did you start and how did you settle on the stim you now use?
  • Or, have your stims changed over time? If so, why did you choose one in preference to another?

Any insights and advice welcome. Thanks.

Parents

  • I'm no expert, so I'm just offering thoughts (that said, I would imagine that between us all on this forum we are all probably the experts here, as I don't know of much research into the myriad types of stim and their benefits).

    I *think* I would agree with Kitsune that stims have probably been with you forever but potentially subconscious. However, if you find a new behaviour that helps your mental state / health, go for it!

    Nessie said:
    Given that my education, career and general life keeps getting interrupted with stress-induced illnesses

    I can relate to this, and my experience is that alexithymia made me think I was doing OK when I was actually dangerously stressed, and autism made me reactive to stressors that most people find neutral or even enjoyable. Not knowing about this led me to walk into the flames without the ability to feel pain until I noticed a funny smell and my skin going red. What I'm trying now, that seems to be working, in essence, is to give myself permission to say no. More detail here: https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/16793/understanding-yourself-how-autism-affects-you-my-autistic-charter

Reply

  • I'm no expert, so I'm just offering thoughts (that said, I would imagine that between us all on this forum we are all probably the experts here, as I don't know of much research into the myriad types of stim and their benefits).

    I *think* I would agree with Kitsune that stims have probably been with you forever but potentially subconscious. However, if you find a new behaviour that helps your mental state / health, go for it!

    Nessie said:
    Given that my education, career and general life keeps getting interrupted with stress-induced illnesses

    I can relate to this, and my experience is that alexithymia made me think I was doing OK when I was actually dangerously stressed, and autism made me reactive to stressors that most people find neutral or even enjoyable. Not knowing about this led me to walk into the flames without the ability to feel pain until I noticed a funny smell and my skin going red. What I'm trying now, that seems to be working, in essence, is to give myself permission to say no. More detail here: https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/16793/understanding-yourself-how-autism-affects-you-my-autistic-charter

Children
  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards
    I'm done with Christmas Cards said:
    I can relate to this, and my experience is that alexithymia made me think I was doing OK when I was actually dangerously stressed, and autism made me reactive to stressors that most people find neutral or even enjoyable.

    I don't know if I have alexithymia, but that does sound familiar. I think my default state is feeling stressed and anxious, plus or minus a heap of frustration. If it's all you've ever known, it's kind of hard to imagine any different; and, as you say, when others around you are seemingly indifferent or actively enjoying the situation, we then assume that this is what contentment/enjoyment is, when in actual fact our stress dial is cranked up to 10.

    And thank you, I do really love your Autistic Charter (I've already downloaded a copy). Blush