obesessive regrets and suicide ?Trigger

I suffer quite frequently with suicidal thoughts. These arnt caused by depression but by thinking that I have nothing more to add to my life. I have two children that are now adults have no real need for me any more. I have been through a really difficult time over the past two years leading to me being diagnosed. During that time I have had approx 40 appointments with various so called experts. My family, friends work colleagues have virtually ignored me during over this period, I suppose that's understandable, everyone has their own life and demons to deal with but It definitely would have helped me to have had their support, even the odd kind word would have worked wonders. The only support I get is from my councillor but that's false support and doesnt come from the heart seeing as im paying her £75 a session for the privilege. Ive been off work for 6 weeks, I was struggling with my workload, I asked for adjustments but was told that I wasn't physically disabled so therefore didn't qualify. Not one work colleague (some ive worked with for 20 years) has contacted me, not even a facebook message but like a said before, they've got their own lives.

Sorry you're having a difficult time - life after kids is difficult for almost everyone - the need to find a new purpose in life often causes stress.     The next big step will probably be the grandparent babysitting duty.  

If you're diagnosed, you definitely have the right to ask for adjustments in the workplace and they are breaking the law by refusing to consider it.   I'm sure someone else will chime in after me to give you the specifics of what you need to do.

What sort of environment do you work in and what sort of adjustments are you asking for?

Im a postman, I cant complete my round on time and are forced to miss my breaks. This causes massive anxiety issues for me. I asked if they could adjust my round but they have refused. Im 55 next year so could take early retirement. I wouldnt have much money but at least I would be in control of my life, Since diagnosis I have finally discovered what causes my anxiety issues and I can adjust my private life to avoid the triggers. The problem with work is that I am forced into uncomfortable situations that I have trouble dealing with

i concur

If you're looking to go, try to get the union guy to suggest to them that they pay you off - better to go with a wad of cash than leaving empty handed.

To be honest their stubboness has played into my hands as it has made me realise that I am better off out of there and retiring early. They are starting to take the matter seriously and have consulted personnel. They will no doubt come back with what they feel are reasonable adjustments but its a bit like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.

I love cycling, its my means of escape and can be lost in my thoughts for hours. I mainly cycle on my own in the Cotswolds. I try and cycle 10,000 miles a year. Bikes are a special interest, I also own a Colnago C64 and a Bianchi Oltre

I think you should consult your union representative about your employer’s duty to make reasonable adjustments.

The Equality Act 2010 means you should be allowed reasonable adjustments.

“Duty to make reasonable adjustments – an employer has a duty to make adjustments to allow a level playing field and enable the employee to do their job despite any challenges they may have. This will apply even where the employee does not come forward to ask for certain adjustments. Adjustments for those on the autistic spectrum will need to be considered very much based on consultation with the individual. As there is a wide range of symptoms, we cannot have a one-size-fits-all approach and consultation with the employee and possibly with medical guidance is advisable.”

https://www.lawgazette.co.uk/practice-points/managing-autistic-employees-and-partners-/5067245.article

But you are a cyclist as I was and have a Pinarello. I envy you for that, but am 10 years older than you but regret not taking early retirement. However you will need to work out how you would fill your days and your finances ?voluntary work. There are lots of cycling charities I now find such as pedall https://www.pedall.org.uk/the-bikes/  and https://cyclingwithoutage.org/about/ which seem great.

cycling is great for autism and prevents ruminations I found myself much much worse when I stopped after an accident last year

But you are a cyclist as I was and have a Pinarello. I envy you for that, but am 10 years older than you but regret not taking early retirement. However you will need to work out how you would fill your days and your finances ?voluntary work. There are lots of cycling charities I now find such as pedall https://www.pedall.org.uk/the-bikes/  and https://cyclingwithoutage.org/about/ which seem great.

cycling is great for autism and prevents ruminations I found myself much much worse when I stopped after an accident last year

I love cycling, its my means of escape and can be lost in my thoughts for hours. I mainly cycle on my own in the Cotswolds. I try and cycle 10,000 miles a year. Bikes are a special interest, I also own a Colnago C64 and a Bianchi Oltre