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obesessive regrets and suicide ?Trigger

DaveAsperg

I look on here a lot trying to understand autism and why we have such a high suicide rate. I have been plagued with suicidal ideation for 6 years now and do not want to die, but I don't think many people understand how the 2 opposite thoughts can exist. I have a feeling of inevitability that my life will end soon, but have been prosecuted for this which makes me feel even worse. I have been devoting all my life and finances to trying to beat this, but seem to be failing and the police prosecution and media lack of understanding made things very much worse.

It is well recognised that we as autistics have a high suicide rate and my feeling personally is that is we have such a mental focus on one thing at a time, which is helpful if that is a work related or competitive matter, but terrible if it is a focus on negativity and suicide.

I am in England and should be celebrating the victory today but instead was thinking how I had let my children down by not taking them to the national rugby games in their childhood, when I had the opportunity as living near Twickenham.

Dwelling on negativity, which lots on here do , seems very bad, especially if we reach suicidal ideation.

Distraction ? may help. Keeping busy with positivity if that is possible, but isolation and rumination seems very dangerous.

What do others think??

Can we help solve the problem??

Parents

  • I suffer quite frequently with suicidal thoughts. These arnt caused by depression but by thinking that I have nothing more to add to my life. I have two children that are now adults have no real need for me any more. I have been through a really difficult time over the past two years leading to me being diagnosed. During that time I have had approx 40 appointments with various so called experts. My family, friends work colleagues have virtually ignored me during over this period, I suppose that's understandable, everyone has their own life and demons to deal with but It definitely would have helped me to have had their support, even the odd kind word would have worked wonders. The only support I get is from my councillor but that's false support and doesnt come from the heart seeing as im paying her £75 a session for the privilege. Ive been off work for 6 weeks, I was struggling with my workload, I asked for adjustments but was told that I wasn't physically disabled so therefore didn't qualify. Not one work colleague (some ive worked with for 20 years) has contacted me, not even a facebook message but like a said before, they've got their own lives.

  • in reply to PINARELLO F8

    Sorry you're having a difficult time - life after kids is difficult for almost everyone - the need to find a new purpose in life often causes stress.     The next big step will probably be the grandparent babysitting duty.   Smiley

    If you're diagnosed, you definitely have the right to ask for adjustments in the workplace and they are breaking the law by refusing to consider it.   I'm sure someone else will chime in after me to give you the specifics of what you need to do.

    What sort of environment do you work in and what sort of adjustments are you asking for?

  • in reply to Plastic

    Im a postman, I cant complete my round on time and are forced to miss my breaks. This causes massive anxiety issues for me. I asked if they could adjust my round but they have refused. Im 55 next year so could take early retirement. I wouldnt have much money but at least I would be in control of my life, Since diagnosis I have finally discovered what causes my anxiety issues and I can adjust my private life to avoid the triggers. The problem with work is that I am forced into uncomfortable situations that I have trouble dealing with

  • in reply to PINARELLO F8

    If you're looking to go, try to get the union guy to suggest to them that they pay you off - better to go with a wad of cash than leaving empty handed.

  • in reply to Former Member

    To be honest their stubboness has played into my hands as it has made me realise that I am better off out of there and retiring early. They are starting to take the matter seriously and have consulted personnel. They will no doubt come back with what they feel are reasonable adjustments but its a bit like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.

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  • in reply to Former Member

    To be honest their stubboness has played into my hands as it has made me realise that I am better off out of there and retiring early. They are starting to take the matter seriously and have consulted personnel. They will no doubt come back with what they feel are reasonable adjustments but its a bit like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.

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