Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m interested in the perspectives of both ASD and NTs who married ASDs.
I’m engaged and we had planned our wedding for the start of this year but decided to postpone 6 weeks before because I was too poorly (vestibular migraine) and the church and hotel we had booked were both messing us about.
The thing is, we didn’t enjoy planning a single aspect of our wedding. We found it a massive chore and in no way exciting, romantic or anything else. While we both know we definitely want to be with each other and we definitely want to get married, we don’t want to be burned out by all the prep.
On the other hand, we feel that eloping wouldn’t be right for us as we do want to be able to celebrate with our families. I would feel I had missed out a massive milestone if my dad didn’t walk me down the aisle, and I’m certain he would feel the same.
I know you’ll all say, “It’s your wedding, you can do it however you want,” but really what I’m looking for is concrete examples of things that worked for people with autism. For example, one idea we are toying with is having a small, formal service in a chapel with our very immediate families and then throwing a bigger party/reception a few months later for the wider family and a few friends. Neither of us really like being the centre of attention anyway.
Along with Asperger’s, I also have a number of physical health problems which cause fatigue and pain so that is a limiting factor too.
Thank you sooo much to everyone for all your input and advice! I've really enjoyed reading about your weddings and it's given us plenty to think about.
We're now leaning towards a two-part event with a few weeks between the wedding day and the main celebration so I will have enough energy to enjoy both, and also not risk being left burned out for weeks afterward.
We think it will go something like this:
We're also thinking of holding the ceremony on my partner's birthday (in July) so I only need to sleep with him once a year going forward. :-D
It’s good to hear that you’ve been able to re plan your wedding to suit you more, after all, it is about yourself and your fiancé. I hope it all goes well for you