Loneliness - could getting a pet be a solution?

Pets are human's bestfriend. It will be a good idea for you going with dog!!

Wish I could afford a pet

Well said.

The cat has to choose you.

Well, didn't the lovely Chris Packham find his way through relationship to the animal kingdom.? I'm a cat not a dog person, personally. I love cats but am afraid of dogs. That said  the love of an animal is absolutely unconditional. They love you NT or ND and don't give a damn. And you will give, give and give of yourself in return.

Yeah, go on. Get a dog, but get the dog that gravitates to you and wants you to love it...my best puss was like that. I didn't choose him, he chose me. And I adored him. X

Since childhood, I have always wanted a dog. Although my parents liked dogs (my dad had grown up with them), they both worked and felt it would be unfair to leave a dog at home all day by itself. Plus, there were all the costs of owning a dog to consider and money was often tight. I was told that if I wanted a dog, I would have to wait until I was grown up and had a place of my own.

I am now very much an adult (hurtling towards 50), with a home of my own. I have the advantage of spending much of my time at home, but alas money is tight. Realistically, I know that as much as I would love a dog, there is just no way I could afford the cost of owning one.

A couple of years ago I decided, partly on a whim, to get myself a realistic-looking, battery-operated pet puppy. Apparently, they are often used in care homes with dementia patients as a form of therapy. Initially, it was great. I could stroke my dog and feel it breathing, it would offer its paw, and move its head, much like a real dog. Apart from the purchase cost, I didn't have to worry about vets bills, pet insurance, or the day-to-day cost of owning a dog. I also didn't have to worry about furniture and other possessions getting chewed.

The problem was that because it wasn't real, it lacked spontaneity and was far too predictable. If I placed it on the floor, I couldn't expect it to jump up onto my lap, or play 'fetch'. Do I regret buying it? Yes, and no.

Hello,

Regarding the self-motivation trick with raising a dog, it's a good idea in theory however when the bad days are really hitting it's really close to being the worst idea!

I wanted to adopt a dog for four years, having a decade of experience fostering different animals. I found my perfect dog match a couple of weeks before the 2020 lockdown and it hit really hard! 

Having someone to look after does make you get up and move, it's really humbling too and makes you relativise. But it's the exact same commitment as having a child only that the child never grows independant!

Now, the positive aspects of adopting/fostering is having that external energy to tap in, fond memories to cherish, having a walk buddy, socialising with other pet owners, and all the soothing hormones shots from cuddling and petting a little bundle of fluff!

I personally am a loner with a rich social life but time to time one grows tired of social life and it's such a blessing to have a companion pet to entertain or kick back with and having it to go home to!

PS: for other type of pets, especially ones living exclusively indoors, it's a good idea to start a new passion to spend time on! Like building a terrarium for a reptile etc...!

I don't like Cats. You can talk to a dog, and he'll talk back to you. But Cats, they just look at you, then go and poo in the garden.

Hi Bill, have you thought about fostering a cat, lots of cats now are house cats. They don’t need walking like a dog does and can be good company.

I want a dog, i've wanted one for a long time now, long before i realised i was autistic. But i know i couldn't manage him. I have one og those 4wheeled walkers 'cos i'm so unsteady on my feet and get so tired even if only walking a short distance, Even with my walker there are times i've fallen because the pavements are so uneven. I don't think it would be fair to the dog if we couldn't get daily exercise.

animals are very therapeutic i have 2 small dogs  they get you up you have to feed them look after them it really helps me look after myself by looking after them there good company too so you dont get so lonely and when someone hurts you which is often for me i know they love me as i have a  good relationship with them they know there well looked after its great try the adopting thing or rescue first if you want but its not quite  the same as  having your own keeping them small means i still reap with loads of other things like making there coats and checking up the best toothpaste and food ect  

The Group closed suddenly and without warning despite having over 2300 members! :-(

But here are some others I belong to (all also closed groups), in order of my personal preference:

Autistic women in the UK

Women with Autism/Aspergers UK support Group

British Women and Non Binary Autistics - ASD, ASCS and Aspergers

Labradors do have a lovely temperament, but they can be a little hyper (although some are really lazy - so it's not always the case). Clumber Spaniels have a beautiful temperament and are actually quite slow and sedate (odd traits for spaniels!). Energy is more important than breed though - getting a rescue dog might be a good idea, as the shelter will be able to tell you about the dogs' energy levels and temperament.

Thanks Stephen, I've been looking into labradors as they seem to have a nice temperament. Although I think I might have to shift my lifestyle before I get one rather than the other way around! work requires a lot of travel

That's super helpful, thank you

I have a cat - they can be very haughty sometimes.

As for dogs - you need to find a breed that is right for you, as some can be considerably more work than others.

I am glad you have got some cats. Cats are super company really they are I have a lovely house one. I am sorry you have been feeling low and depressed lately. You may not feel like it just now but in time this very dark place you feel you are in will pass. I know if you were not here I would miss you and others would too. I am going to give you the phone number of a confidential service who will listen an give you helpful advice. It's called Breathing Space if you want to phone them . 0800 83 85 87 or ring 999 an tell them just exactly how you feel. We all care about you on this forum an you mean a lot to us and we want to see you get the help it's out there reach for it . You can text me any time I am happy to listen to you day or nite.

Fluffy

Please don't kill yourself! Is there anyone you can talk to when you're feeling like this?

I've been rather less stressed, much less depressed and far less likely to kill myself since getting cats.

I'll still kill myself, just not feeling the immediate need.

Hey, thanks for the advice. I was planning to get males. There is a breeder near me that seem to be pretty decent. Still need to find out if this is ok with my housemate and landlord though. At the moment it is just a dream in my head XD