I have been with my partner for 11 years. We recently decided to make an appointment to see the local GP regarding an official diagnosis of him being on the spectrum. He was diagnosed with Dyspraxia as a very young child and has Palilalia also.
I have a friend who has a degree in psychology who has stated that he is most likely on the spectrum. I want so badly to be able to communicate with him properly. I love him so much and i know his behaviour isn't always his fault but I don't know what to do.
He ticks all the boxes when it comes to the traits and indicators and it has reached the point that we need outside help to allow our relationship to continue. He has trouble empathising with other people and he gets very upset if his routine is disrupted, to the point where I have been left in tears.
It seems to have gotten worse since he has been unable to work due to poor health so I'm not sure if the lack of stability has increased his stress. I hate seeing him like this. What can i do to make the situation easier on him?
Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. As it sounds like routine is really important to him, maybe it'd be worth sitting down together to work out a routine that works for both of you. Maybe you could help him build some structure back into his days so that he doesn't feel quite so lost. Is there anything he's able to do (e.g. in terms of gentle exercise, hobbies, household tasks etc.) that might help him to construct a routine now he's not at work? Going to the GP sounds like a good step and couples' counselling might be beneficial too. You could also try watching some Purple Ella videos on YouTube - she's an autistic adult who suffers from chronic illness, and she has lots of good advice for autistic people and their families (as well as sharing her experience of how her own partner supports her). I hope you both get the support you need - sending best wishes.
I have been with my husband for 17 years , he has A S D and ADHD, diagnosed two years ago, we are working through problems similar to yourselves. I would love to be able to chat with you about possible ways we advise each other. The advice from DuckBread is very good and I wish there were more clubs for Adults on the spectrum. I am new to using this site and unsure at present on how this site works so sorry if incorrect in any way.
Thank you for your help, I really hope reestablishing a routine will help him.
Any advice would help, I find my other half can be so logical that it comes across as cold and he doesn't understand why it can be upsetting for me. Is your husband the same or is that just something unique to mine?
Yes, my husband does come over the same and due to lack of being able to read my emotions he blames me most of the time. I have now become his Carer too, as well as working most days. I am not moaning just telling it how it is.
No problem - hope things improve for you both.