Autism and Adulthood

Hi

It's Eleanor. This is only my second post on this site because, frankly, I have no clue how to do... all of this. I'm an autistic adult. I know that when you're an adult, you're introduced to all sorts of new things; maintaining a career, learning how to live on your own, driving, dating, etc. Oh my God, I'm so rubbish at this! Even when I'm typing or writing, I'm not very talkative. I'm also a very private person so it will be a while before I start blabbering about who knows what on here! Anyway, like I said, I'm an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, who has just graduated from uni this year, and right now I'm in a hard phase of my new adult life; finding a job and starting my career. I want to work in Music Education, and I've decided to just start out with jobs as teaching assistant/supply teacher. So far I've had several declines, but I feel like I'm getting closer to a job. It is just a matter of remaining positive and to keep on going.

I'll post more later, but if anyone has any questions or advice for me, whether on finding work, living through adulthood with autism, or anything else please reply and let me know.

Regards

Eleanor

  • No problem Slight smile I always find it so hard to stick to schedules (it's odd since I love routines so much). It could be a mixture of the Asperger's/fears/insecurities. Try not to overthink it - just play what you enjoy and don't be hard on yourself if it goes wrong. I often feel like I let my autism get in the way of things I love (I want to be an author, but I stopped writing my novel, partly because I dreaded finding out that I wasn't any good after all). We shouldn't let it stop us though - our autism can also be part of why we're good at these things, and why we care so much.

    I don't know if it helps, but I've been trying the 5 minute rule to stop myself procrastinating lately. You commit yourself to doing a task for 5 minutes, with the promise that you'll give yourself a break afterwards. You often get so wrapped up in what you're doing that you carry on for 15-20 minutes without realising. Maybe you could try that for your practice? 

    I'll do you a deal - you carry on with your music practice and I'll start writing again Slight smile xx

  • Hello and welcome. Eleanor! I have also recently come onto the forum, having been diagnosed with Level 2 ASD. Please do feel free to ask any questions and read my profile. I'm sure that everyone on here will give their best advice.

    I, myself, am a very quiet person verbally. However, I can bash out messages either typing or writing.

    I am also struggling to find a job. It has got so bad that I have had to "Sign on" again. However, like you, I am sure that I will find a suitable position eventually.

    The very best of luck with your job search!

  • Hi. Sorry, it's been a while, I know. I'm still job hunting right now, so I'm trying to fill my time with TRYING, to practise my music. The thing I know now what to do in a practise routine for all the instruments I play. The problem, however, to actually STICKING to them. Worse still, I don't know what's affecting it, my Asperger's itself or my fears or insecurities that i'm not good enough it. Does anyone else feel like this? That your autism can get in the way of one of your greatest love and passion life? If so, does anyone have any advice for this? Thanks. xx

  • I play piano and sing too (although I'm definitely out of practice with piano!). Singing is a real bonus, and your ability to read music would be an asset to schools (plus you may find you're the only one who plays clarinet and piano, so it'd still be an advantage... and if you were teaching them to young children, you'd probably only need to show them the basics). Building up a routine sounds like a good start. I'm absolutely terrible for procrastination, so let me know if you find any good strategies Slight smile

  • Hi. Thanks for the positivity. The instruments I play are clarinet, piano and voice. But to be perfectly honest, I'm sort of out of practise. Clarinet and piano especially. But right now I'm trying work up a regular routine for myself as well as trying to find paid work. I suppose I just need to make the most of my time, as well as get out of procrastination. Trust me, I've encountered and done too many times in the past. 

  • Thank you for the helpful tips! In terms of your threshold tip i.e. 'how much can I take in a 'sitting'? Honestly I'm not entirely sure. There are times where there are several noises that occur e.g. the dishwasher, the TV, my two brothers squabbling etc. at the same time and I tend to either bear it for an amount of time, or it's just for a minute or two before I find myself retreating to my bedroom. I guess I'll have to test myself and see what happens. As for decompression strategies, I do have a few, i.e. listening to music, long walks, and just recently, listening to audiobooks, but it always seems like I do it at the right time. Honestly, I do try to set myself a regular routine, but I can never tend to stick to it. Has anyone else had that problem? If so, let me know xx

  • Any advice?

    Basic stuff...

    1. Understand what your areas of difficulty/triggers are e.g. mine big ones are noise sensitivity and dealing with illogical thinking in others

    2. Understand what your thresholds are - how much of (1) can you take in a 'sitting'?

    3. Understand what your 'decompression strategies' are - music, exercise, just being alone etc. whatever you do that undoes the everyday stresses of coping with the NT world

    4. Understand you are not alone and you are OK the way you are. There are always voices here ready to speak on issues big and small, to celebrate  or commiserate with you.

    OP

  • Hi Eleanor. I'm in my mid-twenties, awaiting diagnosis, and I definitely find adult life quite challenging! I love music too. What instruments do you play? There are lots of career paths you could take; I'm sure the right job will come along soon. Teaching assistant/supply teaching roles sound like a good start - lots of schools are desperate for musicians to run their choirs, teach instruments and help with their school productions!

  • belfast & fermanagh in  northern ireland 

    ---- search in google for RC groups/clubs also try 

    find your local model shop and ask there
  • where are you based? are there any groups you can join?

  • I am a software tester. many auties / aspies succeed within IT.

  • Hello and welcome! I’m not a teacher, I’m a mental health nurse, a couple of my friends are teachers. Good luck with your job hunting I hope you find something soon!

  • Hi. Nice to meet you. I am a music teacher at a primary school. What instruments do you play ? Can you teach it ?

  • hello and welcome! I'm F, 40s, diagnosed last year, teach in secondary school. There are a few others on here as well who work in education.