Published on 12, July, 2020
I have extreme OCD, nervous tics in my body and facial expressions and eye contact, I'm shy, I've had depression and anxiety for quite some time, I'm physically weaker than most men and have a lot of food intolerances.
I don't seem to have achieved anything in 32 years. I've tried making friends and studying and failed consistently at both due to all of the aforementioned.
My dad and most my siblings don't like me. I've shown interest in dozens of women over the years and never had a reciprocal interest.
My only close friend who lives near me is my mother. What are people's thoughts? Is a life like this pointless?
Confidence, as a thing, does not exist. Everyone is the same - no-one knows what's going to happen in life so everything is a risk. Playing the game teaches you to accept the risk and still go forwards. Look at driving - people with a few hours training driving 1500kg lumps of steel around at 70mph in a chaotic pattern with millions of others mostly not paying attention - now THAT'S confidence!
Life is about working out what your really want & need rather than what NT society tells you you want. Drowning in debt to afford another shiny car is actually crazy - but they all do it.
Most marriages fail and are immensely costly to escape from - especially if kids are involved.
Friends cost nothing and are good for you - so if I were you, I'd look at Meetup.com and just go along to a few of the local events. You can just sit in the background until you work out the dynamic - there's no pressure to perform. If you find a friendly bunch, they'll accept you into the group as long as you're nice, non threatening and not too intense. Just let it wash over you until you gain that magic 'confidence'.
Life isn't pointless but you must add meaning to your life so it won't be pointless.
Nah, you're pretty normal. Everybody has these sort of issues, Asperger's or not.
Learn how women communicate their interest, watch for when they're interested in you. It'll still go wrong most of the time - but not all the time, and that's when when you might find someone.
In the meantime find the things that make you happy. Do them. Don't worry whether other people think that's a good thing or not.
I agree that there are many people lacking sense who are living on debt and putting on an act like they are doing so well.
I'm afraid that people are judging me for being less able than them. I feel in social groups I've been to that others have treated me less well than they treat other people in the group because of how I am.
I want to feel confident but don't much.
Oh yes, sorry, forgot to mention I've been diagnosed with Asperger's.
Of course it's not. Understanding yourself is key, I am only just starting to do this and I'm 42. You don't mention if you are autistic?
Your life is not pointless - but what kind of life are you trying to lead? Lots of people get conned into following the typical NT life-plan of buy lots of stuff and pretend they are doing well while they service a massive debt - then they die.
What would you really like to do?